It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Chamblee Police Department
Channel 11 News via Reddit.
The incident: A man charged his electric car on an outlet outside a school, allegedly using less than a nickle's worth of electricity.
The appropriate response: Nothing. Asking him not to do it if it's a big deal.
The actual response: He was arrested and charged with theft.
Last week, Kaveh Kamooneh parked his electric car outside Chamblee Middle School in Chamblee, Georgia, where his son was playing tennis.
Before walking up to the tennis courts to watch his son, Kaveh plugged an extension cable from his Nissan Leaf into an electrical outlet outside the school.
After being plugged in for a little under 20 minutes, he noticed a man inside his car. He went over to investigate and found a police officer. Apparently, someone had called 911 to report Kaveh's car.
"He informed me he was about to arrest me, or at least charge me, for electrical theft," Kaveh told Channel 11 News.
Kaveh was allowed to leave, but ten days later, he was arrested at his home.
Channel 11 News contacted the power company that serves the area, and they estimated the cost of electricity used by Kaveh to be 4 cents.
Sgt. Ernesto Ford of the Chamblee Police Department apparently does not regret the arrest, telling Channel 11 News that "a theft is a theft," and that he would "do it again."
Kaveh believes he was the victim of selective prosecution, "There's no record of anyone being arrested for drinking water out of a tap. People charge laptops or cell phones at public outlets all the time, and no one's ever been arrested for that." he told Channel 11 News. He plans to fight his charge.
Cry-Baby #2: Joseph M. Maloney
Chicago Tribune via Reddit. Image via Cook County Sheriff Dept.
The incident: A drunk driver got yelled at because he was driving badly.
The appropriate response: Pulling over and taking a nap or something.
The actual response: He tried to kill the guy who yelled at him, as well as his mother.
Last week, a drunken Joseph M Maloney, 52, was driving in Streamwood, Illinois.
As often happens when people are driving while drunk, Joseph was driving pretty terribly. At one point, he jumped the curb and had to swerve back into his lane. This caused a motorist behind him to pull up to him at a stop sign and yell that he should "learn how to drive".
Possibly feeling that this was unfair as he probably does know how to drive, he was just drunk, Joseph pulled in front of the other driver. Who, managing to avoid a collision, drove home.
Joseph followed the motorist to his home, where his mother was outside doing yard work.
When the unnamed motorist exited his car, Joseph drove at him and tried to run him over "three or four" times. He also tried to run over the man's mother, driving through multiple yards and driveways as he attempted to do so.
Joseph then circled the block, came back, and tried to run them over again. He then fled the scene.
Police caught up with Joseph and he was given a sobriety test, which he failed. According the police report, his eyes were glassy and his breath smelled like alcohol. He was charged with driving under the influence, aggravated assault, and reckless driving.
His bail has been set at $75,000.
Which of these fine folks is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll right here, if that's OK with you:
Winner: The poop smearer!!!