The VICE Guide to Not Being in a Band - Continued

Here is the URL that we promised you in The VICE Guide to Not Being in a Band. It’s filled to the brim with educational information, tips, and tidbits to help you get out there and do something with yourself. Besides being in a band. Enjoy. 1. GO ON A RIDE-ALONG WITH YOUR LOCAL POLICE Like we said in the issue, programs vary greatly from state to state, so contact your local police station to sort it out. 2. HIKE THE GRAND CANYON Why not? It’s beautiful and filled with wonderment. Getting There: You have three options if you’d like to fly commercially to the nearest airports, and then drive to the actual canyon:
-Flagstaff Pulliam Airport: closest commercial airport, 81 mile drive to South Rim of canyon, and best if traveling from Phoenix or L.A.
-Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport: closest international airport, 231-mile drive to South Rim of canyon.
-Las Vegas McCarran International Airport: 278 mile drive to South Rim. Or you could go the train route via Amtrak and arrive in Flagstaff (another 81 mile drive once you’re there). If you’re driving and want to enter an address into Google Maps or a GPS, it’s best to enter these latitude and longitude coordinates for the South Rim of the national park: 35.990372,-112.123353. Or, you could find directions to the Grand Canyon National Park. Many “getting there” type questions can be answered via the FAQs page of thecanyon.com.

Where to Stay: If you plan oncamping within the actual canyon, you’ll have to get a permit through the Backcountry Information Center. Download the permit application here, and then mail or fax it back to the information center four months in advance. It’s $10 for the permit and $5 per person, per night in the canyon. You don’t need a permit for day hiking. Or you can camp outside the canyon and hike during the day. Mather Campground is on the South Rim operated by the National Recreation Reservation Service. Year-round it’s $18 per site, per night. Up to six people are allowed with two vehicles and three tents per site. Then there’s North Rim Campground operated by the National Park Service. It’s $18-25 dollars per site, per night from mid-May to mid-October. Up to six people are allowed with two vehicles and three tents per site. You could also live the lodge life. Phantom Lodge is located at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. You must get there by foot, rafting, or mule. It’s $42 per person, plus about $20 per meal. The dorms have ten bunks and are separate for men and women. You can start by submitting a reservation request form. Mule Rides: If you’re coming from the South Rim, a company called Xanterra is in charge of Grand Canyon Mule Rides. Some requirements:      -Must be 200 lb or less
     -Must reserve rides around eight months in advance
     -If you don’t get a reservation, you can wing it by showing up and putting your name on a wait list and hope several people have cancelled. Openings are much more likely in winter.      -Types of rides:
        -Abyss Overlook ride is 3.5 hours around the rim of the canyon, $118 per person.
        -Phantom Ranch Overnight ride is about five hours down to the lodge and another five back, $477 per person, two for $842 and $378 for each additional person (includes meals and night in lodge). If you’re coming from the North Rim, Canyon Trails Ride service is much cheaper, $40-$75, but you don’t go as far and there’s much less online info.      -In service May 15- October 15
     -A half-day mule trip to Uncle Jim’s Point or Supai Tunnel is $75 per person
     -200 lb weight limit 3. DRIVE A DRIVE-AWAY To get started, contact a company that specializes in drive-away cars and see what is available. Auto Driveaway seems pretty legit. Though it varies from company to company, here’s a loose set of criteria you must meet to get accepted:      -You must be at least 23 years old(though some sites say just 21) with a valid driver's license. Foreign travelers also need a passport with a valid exit visa.
     - A current MVR (motor vehicle driver’s record) for all drivers is needed when you arrive at the office to pick up the vehicle. If you do not have a MVR, one will be generated at a cost to you. Foreign travelers must bring a current Motor Vehicle Record from their home country.
     -You need around $350 as an upfront security deposit, but you’ll be reimbursed once you reach your destination. The basic expenses are fuel (first tank is free!), food, and lodging, but bring a friend. It cuts the cost of transportation in half and ups the fun by a million.
     -Once accepted, you and your agent agree on routing and a time of arrival. Just make it there in the allotted time and you’re golden. Plus, it’s doubtful you’ll be driving more than eight hours a day so there’s still plenty of time for exploring this fine land. … Craigslist sometimes has listings for drive-aways, but that seems pretty sketchy. If you don’t meet any of the criteria mentioned above, that’s probably your only way to go.

4. BECOME AN AIR COURIER Online resources are all pretty dated and it seems that there were "organizations” that you could join to become a courier, but most of them are scams, so just be careful. Basically, this is how you do it: Call an agency and plan to travel within the next few weeks to a foreign location. You stay there for 7-14 days (paying only a fraction of the price for a ticket, like 25-50%). The company pays to use your checked baggage so you bring a carry on and that’s it. You don't actually handle the goods, you're just filler for them in terms of being able to use the flight. -Check out this book: Air Courier Bargains: How to Travel World-Wide for Next to Nothing by Kelly Monaghan. It’s pretty dated (published in 1998), but buying it used on Amazon will only run you $1.50 and, if anything, it’ll probably make for a pretty entertaining read. For even more information and helpful tips check out these sites:
http://www.frugalmonkey.com/traveldeals/air_couriers.html [http://www.seminar.org/courier1.htm ](http://www.seminar.org/courier1.htm)5. BECOME A GUARDIAN ANGEL

As easy as it gets: Go to

this site to join a local chapter for no stated fee. For those of you turning up your nose at the idea of joining someone else’s chapter, fine. Why not start your own? Check out this link for full info, but here’s a cut and dry version of how you go about it: 1. contact the angels; seek mentorship from a nearby chapter and demonstrate both a need for a chapter and your own patience
2. reconnaissance and research; assess the need
3. proposal for how to fix the community
4. introduction to the community
5. recruit and train
6. graduation Still not convinced? Here’s an extra perk for getting involved: their insignia rules! Picture this: an eyeball inside a triangle inside a shield with outstretched wings above a cloud that says SAFETY PATROL. Now picture this: How nice would that look as a back patch on a beat up jacket you wear as you walk around the block protecting the streets and shit? 6. BECOME A STORM CHASER Have you seen the Discovery Channel show called Storm Chasers? It’s pretty thrilling and what not, but this whole guide is about getting off your ass and into your own adventures, not watching someone else’s. And, sorry, let’s just get this out of the way: There’s no such thing as a salaried storm chaser (as far as we can tell), but hey, you could be the first? Here’s some advice for making that happen: -First off: We’ve heard storm chasing referred to as being on a “weather safari.” Please refer to is as that from now on.
-When one finds oneself on a “weather safari” the main goal is to document majestic natural phenomena. Get a nice camera.
-You’ll probably need to learn a lot of math and computer stuff to be a meteorologist or storm chaser, but if you just wanna run around chasing tornadoes and taking nice photos, that part probably isn’t so necessary.
-Risks, of course, should be noted. But really, if you’re going to die, why not die at the “hands” of a T8 wedge tornado nearly a mile wide? Here’s what to watch out for:      -car accidents (hydroplaning, distracted driving, speeding, and dirt roads)
     -lightning
     -hail
     -flying debris
     -tornadoes, obviously… -Stormchaser.com lists a bunch of ways to potentially make money doing something similar:      -Severe weather hazards, safety, risk management and natural disaster specialists
     -Product promotions and sponsorships
     -Safety seminars, corporate training and speaking engagements
     -Custom photo exhibitions for new product releases, museums, corporate promotions, etc.
     -Sports and special event consulting
     -Product testing and evaluations
     -Weather images, and film and HD footage If all else fails, model yourself after Warren Faidley. He’s as close to a professional storm chaser as it gets and seems to have made quite a business out of it. He has sponsors like Surefire and Canada Goose, his work is shown on National Geographic, Discovery, MTV, etc., and he’s written two books: Storm Chaser and The Ultimate Storm Survival Handbook. Here are few more sites you can check out to get more information about your future career: http://wvlightning.com/chasing/faq.shtml [http://www.cimms.ou.edu/doswell/ChasFAQ.html ](http://www.cimms.ou.edu/doswell/ChasFAQ.html)[ ](http://www.cimms.ou.edu/~doswell/ChasFAQ.html)7. BECOME A FREELANCE PAPARAZZO Find a friend who wants to get into #6 and go in on a nice camera together. There’s no real mystery in learning how to become a freelance paparazzo: You get a camera and you stalk celebrities hoping for a naughty, embarrassing, career-ending photo. But eHow.com lists some helpful tips if you can’t stand the idea of learning this trade on your own. Highlights include: laying out the competition, legality, using an agent, etc. And if that’s not enough, read this book: Paparazzi: And Our Obsession with Celebrity by Peter Howe. It explains what the industry essentially is from both an academic and insider point of view. 8. HUNT TREASURE Do you like adventure, intrigue, good times, and the possibility of discovering lost and forgotten millions? Who doesn’t? You better jump on these lists quick and start mapping shit out. 1. giant list of American treasures 2. stories of lost treasure in the US listed on Lost Treasure’s website 3.this site lists treasures along the coast of Texas
4. an article about the possibility of finding lost treasure in Arizona
5. an article about the possibility of finding lost treasure in the Northeastern part of the United States And if you’re a little too lazy to set out for the horizon with a backpack full of gear and a heart full of hope, we guess you could just walk around your neighborhood until something shiny turns up. We suggest you start by looking under sinks, above ceiling tiles, inside books, in crawl-spaces, behind outlet plates, and under floorboards. 9. EXPLORE A DESERTED ISLAND Here’s a long list to get you started. It would take forever to list the specific details of each island so we’ll just pepper in some fun facts along the way, but besides that—Google that shit.

Atlantic:

New Jersey:

Washington:

Virginia:

Michigan:

Michigan cont

d:

Wisconsin:

Florida:

Virgin Islands:

Pacific Islands:

10. BECOME A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR Big opportunity for adventure here and easy enough to get started. This site has all the listings for PI license requirements by state. It clearly varies from state to state, but basically there is just an application to fill out, an exam to take, some finger printing, and issuing a government ID. Some states like California allow PI’s to carry guns after training and background check, while in New York it’s a bit more difficult. Nevada is particularly fussy about issuing firearms (sucks for y’all). 11. GO CAVING Did you ever see that episode of Planet Earth where that guy dives into this massive cave in the middle of nowhere, completely surrounded by these lush green trees, and he’s just falling and falling deeper and deeper into the cave? It’s awesome. That could be you. Here’s how: Join the National Speleological Society through one of its 200 chapters. 12. START A CIRCUS You don’t need to be P.T. Barnum to know that there’s a sucker born every minute. Here are some tips on getting out there and taking them for all they’re worth: Animal Acts: You’ll want to avoid these. PETA is way too much on their game these days. Since they determined that the federal Animal Welfare Act was too lenient on circuses, they’ve traveled around the country getting municipalities to ban all acts involving animals. Who knows how much of that is true and how far the scope extends on their newly imposed jurisdictions, but we do know that those are one set of protestors you do NOT want outside your venue. Besides, animals are expensive and difficult to train anyways. A surprising number of people forget that exotic animals depend on exotic food and a simulated exotic environment to survive. All those details just serve to balloon the overhead of your cute lil’ circus. Small Towns: Work closely with every small town you visit. For starters, they often require a license (read: fee) for operating circuses and carnivals, but they may also be willing to join in a revenue-sharing operation that would help minimize the financial risk for all involved if you ask nicely. Each town is different, but look around for volunteer firehouses, police organizations, and other charities that need some excitement to drum up a quick buck. Hiring: Hire all your performers as independent contractors rather than full time employers. Provided you still pay them fairly and speedily, the legal breathing room will allow you to stay afloat in the chaotic work environment. Some of the performers might not like the impermanent status, but you just tell them to go swallow a sword or do some tumbling or something. Expenses: Most of your initial expenses will go towards purchasing the tent. Yes, you need a tent. It’s not a circus without a tent. Make it a fireproof one, the safest you can get. You’ll have to come up with $30,000 and it’d be a pain in the ass to set up, but just trust that the flaming inferno of a poorly-constructed circus tent engulfing and incinerating its clowns and customers alike is a PR disaster worth spending a life’s savings to avoid. 13. BECOME A PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR As we said in the issue, FlamelCollege.org offers online paranormal-investigator “certification” for $95, which includes a textbook and EMF meter (to detect ghosts). Some go a slightly different route and get certified in spiritual guidance or become a certified Reiki master. And as far as salary goes, this definitely doesn’t seem like a lucrative field. Most investigators do their work free of charge, simply for the joy of the hobby, and many have day jobs to support themselves. It sounds like the only way you could make some money is from writing books, TV appearances, and lectures at universities. But, here are some books you could check out first to make sure it’s really for you:      -Ghost Hunter's Guidebookby Troy Taylor
     -How to Be a Ghost Hunterby Richard Southall
     -Reaching for Reality by Constance Clear 14. JOIN A KIBBUTZ To join you must complete a registration form in your own country, through the KPC office in NY, and pay the registration fee. Once the form is received the program conducts a phone interview to gauge if you are truly interested. Assuming you are convincing enough, you then must be interviewed by the KPC office. Once (and if) you make it through all the interviews, you are placed with the kibbutz most suited for you. You have to be at least 18 years old, but each kibbutz will have their own age policy. Some things to consider before diving in head first:      -If you organize it yourself all you pay for is the cost of your flight to Israel and a small administration and insurance fee to the kibbutz volunteers office in Tel Aviv where you'll need to register before going to your kibbutz.
     -The average cost for joining a kibbutz is around $1,500 excluding flights and visas.
     -You'll receive somewhere in the region of $550 a month to spend at the local kibbutz store. Here you can buy all your necessities from toothpaste to chocolate. Benefits: The communities share work duties, property, income, and food. Basically it’s a “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours” mentality. Also, the kibbutz takes care of all accommodations, meals, laundry, and healthcare needs during your entire stay. And lastly, it’s an opportunity to travel and volunteer, students often do it during a “gap” year. …Still interested? Check out this site for more info. 15. JOIN THE MERCHANT MARINES USMMA is the central website and it lists all the requirements you MUST fulfill to get accepted. Here are some big ones:      -Academic: must have graduated high school; 1070 on SAT; if already in college, 2.5 GPA with full course-load.
     -Medical: You must have good vision, acute hearing, teeth, skin, heart, healthy height-to-weight ratio, etc. You can be disqualified for having asthma, a history of motion sickness, more than 25% (m) or 35% (f) body fat, ADD, unsightly congenital markings or severe acne (What the fuck?), stammering or stuttering, and a shit load of other medical reasons.
     -Fitness: You must get assessed twice a year and meet the following minimums for males: run 1.5 miles in 11 min, 51 push-ups in 2 min, and 62 sit-ups in 2 min. If you somehow pass, then congratulations! Starting salary seems to be around $65,000, according to sites like PayScale and SimplyHired. Obligations are listed about 2/3 down on the main site. Basically, you have to serve in some way for at least five years after graduation. If you get accepted to the Merchant Navy Academy and drop after two years, you can be forced into active duty in the navy for up to three years. Yikes… 16.  HOP A FREIGHT TRAIN This guy seems to have it down. He doles out some practical advice for newbies. The highlights:      -Wear dark clothes, layers, thick gloves and boots.
     -Do not bring anything heavy or breakable.
     -Do bring an RR atlas, liquids, and a hat to block out the sun. eHow has some simple instructions specifically for jumping onto and off of the moving trains:      -Choose trains that are not going to stop anywhere—less chance of being caught.
     -Do not choose trains that are unmarked or marked “Bad Order.”
     -If jumping from a moving train, hit the ground running, but wait until it’s going at a speed you can match. The Crew Change Secret Train Hopping Guide is supposed to be a big deal, and apparently the actual hard copies of it are only passed around among hardcore homeless people. Still not satisfied you have enough information to survive your first attempt at hopping a train? Then check out this open forum. This particular link is specifically about safety, but you can go back and see other threads where lots of people have been discussing the Dos and Don’ts of hopping trains.

17. TRACK BIGFOOT Let’s begin with the inspiring mission statement from the Bigfoot Lunch Club shall we?  “In an effort to explore the mysteries of our world and provide insights into ourselves, the Bigfoot Lunch Club will leave no stone unturned in our pursuit of the truth concerning Bigfoot. We believe in truly open minds that are not afraid to question both the assumptions of science and the dogma of fanatics. Most importantly, we believe in a world bigger than the sum of our present knowledge that still holds mystery, wonder, and a place for a creature known as Bigfoot.” Now check out this page. It’s a guide to Bigfoot hunting and should answer all your basic questions. But honestly, it’s all about just getting out there and tracking the fella. 18. JOIN A DEMOLITION DERBY  This site is the official league site and seems to be the central resource to the world of American DemoDurby. These are the services they provide:      -Informational resources for members and guests about the world of combative motorsports
     -Introduction for new and prospective enthusiasts to the organization and encourage their participation in events
     -Tips on fostering interaction among members
     -Promote activities that further the goals of the organization, including online services, live events and televised productions
     -Facilitate mainstream media access to member activities and partner events
     -Provide listings of blogs dedicated to various aspects of demodurby It seems like all you really need is a car and a pen to sign up for competitions. Get out there! Smashing stuff is fun and therapeutic. 19. BECOME A FREELANCE DAREDEVIL YouTube pretty much allows anyone to be a daredevil these days, but if you want to be a little more legit, just follow the steps: 1. Get super-fit
2. Familiarize yourself with martial arts, gymnastics, or some other physical and potentially painful skill
3. Become really, really good at one or two specific stunt acts—these will be your signature moves (stair falls, being on fire, high falls, car crashes, etc.)
4. Enroll in stunt actor school, but probably not completely necessary
5. Produce a resume with a glamour shot
6. Hang around on film sets and otherwise sniff out your first gig And apparently in 2004 some guy named Ben wrote a daredevil’s manual. It’s called The Daredevil’s Manual, and (according to Amazon.com) promises to offer “a behind-the-scenes, no-holds-barred look at these stunts and many others - straight from the men and women who have turned them into an art form.”

20. BECOMING A CARNY Becoming a carny is pretty straightforward. You sign up for the job, you get paid, and you are a carny. Like all jobs, a quick web search can find you a list of carnivals and contact info to see if they are hiring. Check out Kazzarney. It’s a site that lists a lot of carny lingo so you can brush up and fit in. A few helpful links:      -A list of carnival websites by state
     -Job openings for [the Ringling Brothers ](http://www.feldentertainment.com/opening.htm)