The VICE Guide To The Bars Of Coober Pedy

The Opal Inn Saloon

Drinking is the national sport of Coober Pedy. It averages 45 degrees Celsius outside, the sports oval is a dust bath at best (and a mud bath at worst), and if you live here you’re either unemployed or you work like a total miner ie. really, really hard. Any way you play it, you’re probably going to want a drink at the end of your day and that’s precisely what most people do. The town was declared dry about ten years ago in response to public disorder issues, which means that you can’t drink on the street, but in the bars, you’re good to go. On a regular night in CP, there’s a collision course which goes like this. Start at the Opal Inn Saloon and drink until they kick you out at 11pm. Then it’s across the road to the Desert Cave and when they shut their doors it’s off to the United, which will generally stay open untill the licensed time of 2am. The Opal Inn Saloon (aka The Lavender Bar): The Saloon is in the middle of the main street and has everything you look for in a good pub. There’s a big bar, a couple of pool tables, a pokies room (which, from what we saw, was generally the busiest section) and the consistent presence of soused locals just to keep it interesting. It was here that we met Joni Fonzie (we have no idea what his story was because all he did was stare at us and make a kind of rumbling sound that we think might have been laughing); Ricky, a really cool Aborigine who came out with regular pearls of wisdom that were always accompanied by a ridgy-didge kind of hand sign; Martin, a local indigenous guy who went to school in Adelaide and spoke really good english; and Aivan, a likeable Hungarian dude who went to prison in CP for killing a man, killed another man in prison and now is curiously free and operating a smash repair shop in town. The Indigenous Bar: This bar is right behind the Saloon and opens during the day to, you guessed it, separate the blacks from the whites. It’s possibly the most unattractive bar you’ve ever seen and opens onto what can only be described as an outdoor cage. Luckily the jukebox is loud and has a good selection of albums, and the bar tender we spoke to is an awesome guy who you’d be happy to share your prison cell with, so we guess that makes it ok. The United: This is a lawn bowling club (with the only green grass we saw in a week) with a good bar. It’s the last stop in the nightly circuit and goes off late on Friday night. The Desert Cave: This one claims to be the only underground pub in the world and is, in fact, in the same complex as the fanciest hotel in town. It’s really central so gets packed most nights with locals and tourists but you probably shouldn’t bother turning up if you’re already drunk because management seems pretty strict and wouldn’t let in at least three people we met. They also close fairly early out of respect for the non-drinking tourists paying $200 to get a good nights sleep at the hotel. The Croatian Club: It’s called the Croatian bar but everyone’s welcome. It’s actually just a clubhouse with a slot in the wall where they pour your drinks and you won’t find cheaper booze anywhere. The Serbian Club: This one is deep underground and right next door to the Serbian church. It was practically empty when we were there but they were just firing up the barbie so we have no doubt it was going to get good. The Greek Club: Once inside, this one was really cavernous and quite impressive. We arrived on Friday night just in time for a painfully slow game of Bingo and left immediately afterwards. The Italian Club: Happy hour between 6 and 7pm on Fridays here is essential. VICE STAFF

Joni Fonzie and Martin u

Aivan

Ricky

Bartender—Indigenous Bar

I’ve been working at this bar on and off for the last six years. I love it because I know all the locals and get a good laugh from time to time. We have this bar so the indigenous people have their own space, where they can do as they please to a certain extent. It allows the rest of the pub to carry on their day without any issues.

I wouldn’t say that alcohol in Coober Pedy is necessarily a problem, more a part of day-to-day life when you live in a small outback community. It’s just a chance for everyone to get together and socialise really. There were a couple of brothers in here todayand one was drunk while the other doesn’t touch it. The drunk one started on the other and they went outside and slapped each other around a bit, but, everything was fine. Something generally goes down every day, but I don’t usually need to get involved. Most of the time they’ll sort it out amongst themselves. I went to school with a lot of them so they know me and it helps that I’m a bigger bloke. We don’t allow glass in here due to a few fights in the past so we just stick to cans. Most people drink Bourbon and Cola but there are a minority that will drink a lot of beer. We’ve had a great long list of barring orders on people. It’ll generally happen once or twice before they get the idea. There have been a few barred for life and they always try to sneak in. The owners of all the bars in town are mates so if people are barred from one bar they’re usually barred from all of them.

Coober Pedy has always had a bit of a stigma for being a rough town but it’s not always the case. I grew up here and went to school here. I’ve done the hard yards. The best thing about living here is the lifestyle. You can have a big bonfire and there’s always a big BBQ every weekend. The worst thing is definitely the heat.

SIMON JOHN McLEOD

Bartender—Croatian Club

I am part of the management committee at the Croatian Club. There’s quite a big Croatian population here. When you come to Coober Pedy you chase the fortune and go wherever you find it. When you mine for opal you are gambling with everything—your money and your life. It’s dangerous. I remember one miner who had lost everything. He’d sit at the pokie machines with the last of his money and every time he hit the button he’d say, “Give me my house back, give me my house back”. That’s how it can get here.

With mining it’s all about minimising input. People who come here with money look at it differently than people without money. People who have no money will look at every bit of soil they dig up and only leave when they are entirely sure there’s no opal, whereas the guys with money rip up the ground and if they don’t see anything immediately, they move on. People have since found millions of dollars worth of opal in those dug up plots.

There’s a story I like to tell which kind of gives you an idea of how it is in Coober Pedy. One time, Alexander the Great needed to move tonnes and tonnes of sand, and instead of paying labourers to move it he put coins through the sand and declared that the coins were up for grabs to anyone who found them while they moved the sand to it’s destination. The people went crazy trying to find the coins and in so doing moved the sand in far less time than it would have taken his workers, and cost him far less than it would have to pay them a wage. This is the same as mining. The lure of what you might potentially find is strong.

MAL JUKIC

The Croation Club

The Serbian Club

The Italian Club

The Greek Club