Billy Corben

  • A Violent Stripper, a Crazy Naked Man, and 4,000 Pounds of Cocaine

    Police responded to a call about a naked man on a Tarpon Springs golf course. But when they got there, the golf course was bare, too. The naked man attacked a 7-Eleven clerk and led cops on a car chase before being apprehended.

  • Titty Twisters and Striptease Turkeys

    Sorry I went Earl Sweatshirt on you for a few months. But I'm back. You haven't missed much—just babies getting their nipples twisted off, strip clubs giving away turkeys, a ton of cocaine, and ladies riding manatees.

  • Florida's Election Hangover

    By about 11:15 PM, the election was over and Floridians were still voting. On the bright side, that meant Florida didn't even have a chance to fuck this one up. In fact, many Floridians missed the election results because they were still in line...

  • Voting in Florida: Not a Total Shit Show... Yet

    It's ludicrous that Election Day isn't a national holiday. A friend who was called for jury duty was told by a clerk that voting is not a legitimate excuse to miss it. You can only perform one civic duty at a time, so vote today and risk contempt of...

  • Voter Disenfranchisement in South Florida

    After a sordid and chaotic early voting process, the international media is anticipating that Election Day in Florida will be a spectacular debacle. Once again, a state that cannot get its own shit together will be instrumental in determining the...

  • Square Groupers and Manatee Orgies

    It was a big week for Florida, with voter fraud, donkey fucking, 15-pound bricks of weed, and marine scientists pleading with Floridians to stop interrupting manatee orgies. Tempting though it may be.