Chris Nieratko
Welcome to the Twin Zone
The longest period of time the ATL Twins have spent apart has been six hours when Sidney was locked up for a DUI. Otherwise they are always together, with the exception of a few minutes here and there to shit, shave, and shower.
The Wonderful Sieben of Oz
I love it when our friends become famous, especially when those friends come from the skateboarding world. So you can imagine how my heart sang when I heard that our very own columnist, Michael Sieben, had been tapped to give his visual interpretation...
Battle of the Butthole Tattoos
This girl wants her butthole tattoo to make her famous so she can spread goodwill to the poor and needy.
LA Pizza That Doesn’t Suck?
All pizza in Los Angeles sucks. It’s a law written in blood. And yet former pro skater Salman Agah believes he is above the law with his eatery Pizzanista, which churns out miracle pies. I chatted with Salman to find out what the secret of not sucking...
Happy Valentine's Day: Here Is a Mormon Sex Handbook
What better way to celebrate Valentine’s than with some hot and steamy dude-on-dude Mormon action?
The World’s Biggest Beatles Fan
Until recently I thought my wife’s retarded uncle, Lonnie, was the biggest Beatles fan in the world. Then I discovered Zarrah Angel, who has her butthole tattooed with one of their biggest hits.
Superman vs. Spider-Man: A Porn Parody
The most successful major motion pictures in recent years have been superhero movies, and the most lucrative pornos over the past five years have been spoofs, so it’s no surprise that there have been a shit-ton of superhero spoofs lately.
Nicola Jayne Hebson: Vegan Taxidermist Extraordinaire
Meat isn’t murder if the beast died of natural causes, right? That’s the philosophy that allows Nicola Jayne Hebson, a vegan taxidermist, to sleep at night.
No Warning 7: Ambushed
I arrived back home in New Jersey the airport was full of fearful folk running around with their hands above their heads, doing the Steve Martin and screaming, “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!” We were 24 hours away from getting ass-raped by...
Measure B Is a Pain in the Dick
Let’s not bullshit ourselves, condoms flat out suck—both in one’s private life and in pornos. They’re uncomfortable boner-ruiners that girls are always trying to put holes in to get my babies. In porn, from a fan’s perspective, it’s just not...
Anal Lessons
Are there scouts in the porn business like in baseball who travel the minor-league circuit looking for the next big star? If so, I think that’s what I’d like to do when I grow up.