Sam McPheeters
Certain Goals
The 'New York Times' has a new chief executive, and in addition to his fancy $1 million salary, he got a sign-on bonus worth $3 million if he meets goals made by the company. The Tea Party, stockholders, and Occupy, among others, have a few suggestions...
The Recent Unpleasantness - Ask Mr. Ethics
Dear Mr. Ethics, I am a healthy 42-year-old Minnesota guy with a fantastic family and a well-paying government job. Also, I recently became the presumptive Republican nominee for vice president of the United States in the 2012 election. Life is good...
Fox and Fogs
The future fogs of Fox News: "Earlier we reported that the GOP convention has been watched by two out of three Americans, moving millions of viewers to tears of joy. We may have confused this event with the 1983 series finale of 'M*A*S*H.' Blame the...
Mars Landing Talking Points
"As we all know, the Curiosity rover arrives on Mars this Sunday. Several past Mars missions have generated unfortunate media sideshows over careless employee comments. This will NOT happen with Curiosity."
The Recent Unpleasantness - Olympic Mascots: An Oral History
Hear past Olympic mascots like Amik the Beaver and Powder the Hare reveal every sordid detail of their troubled lives. In their own words, these washed up icons touch on everything from giving handies to make ends meet to smoking 35 pounds of bath...
The Recent Unpleasentness - Sheriff Joe Tweets
We collected the best tweets from computer-illiterate sheriff and xenophobic baked potato Joe Arpaio.
Mitt's Box Office Problem
For starters, there's "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days." It takes place in a boarding school called Cram Brook. At one point, the villain—the wealthy son of the governor of a large, hand-shaped state—pins down a gay classmate and performs what is known...
A Gentile's Guide to Cheating the Shabbat
Let’s be honest, there is no seamless way to merge Halachic Judaism with modern life. But there are workarounds.
The Brutality Report - Wikipedia
Why does everyone think Wikipedia is such a big fucking deal? Samuel Johnson wrote the first English dictionary in nine years, by candlelight, in an 18th century world riddled with wolves and syphilis.
The Brutality Report - Stupid People What Don't Know They're Stupid
Stupid people are more complex than we give them credit for because the less they know, the less they don't know what they don't know.
Brutality Report - Waiting for a 9.2
Like all good torture devices, the more you think about it, the worse your dread. It's a great way to spend some insomnia time.
Three Chapters from The Loom of Ruin
It's with great pride that we present to you three chapters from Sam McPheeters' first novel about a gas-station owner named Trang Yang, who has a fondness for violence.