All Bad News Considered

  • Google Stalked Santa Claus and a Website Ranked States by Their Average Penis Size

    This week, Google launched a website that tracks Santa Claus's location, some idiots ate raw beef in the name of tradition, and a website named Condomania.com ranked states by their residents' average penis size. As you can probably tell, it was a...

  • Police Shot a Black Friday Shoplifter and New J.D. Salinger Stories Leaked

    Because this week was Thanksgiving, I worried I would have no bad news to recap. Thankfully, cops shot a shoplifter on Black Friday, the producer of The Bachelor went H.A.M. on an old lady, and some asshole leaked J.D. Salinger stories.

  • Google Built Barges and Scientists Produced Link-Bait

    This week, Penn State paid-off the 26 boys Jerry Sandusky molested, Texas played topsy turvy with its abortion laws, and a crazy person shot a TSA agent. In other words, it was another terrible week in America! Here's all this week's bad news in a...

  • Facebook Beheadings, Obamacare Controversy, and More Bad News

    A 12-year-old shot up his school, the Obamacare site continued to malfunction, and a jerk posted a video of a beheading on Facebook. Once again, it is a bad week in America. Here's all this week's bad news.

  • This Week's Bad News in a Thousand Words or Less

    Who remembers Dogmageddon, the weekly round-up of news about organized religions ruining the world? I'm back! Except this time, instead of examining religion, I’m recapping the news a.k.a. a wide swath of terrible people doing terrible things for no...

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