Baseball

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  • Facebook Beheadings, Obamacare Controversy, and More Bad News

    A 12-year-old shot up his school, the Obamacare site continued to malfunction, and a jerk posted a video of a beheading on Facebook. Once again, it is a bad week in America. Here's all this week's bad news.

  • Why Didn't We Elect Bill Lee for President?

    Bill Lee says controversial things. The former Boston Red Sox lefty cum New England cult hero once compared the New York Yankees to Nazis and "a bunch of hookers swinging their purses." He has written about his desire to bite the ear off an umpire over...

  • The Joyless Joy of Bad Baseball

    Watch a lousy team on a losing streak, though, and you'll eventually see what baseball skeptics see whenever they watch: a game that’s aimless and dull and stilted and long, and which isn't even quick about it. But for months we settle in, drink down...

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  • 'Class A - Baseball in the Middle of Everywhere,' an Excerpt

    Lucas Mann had dreams of becoming a big leaguer. Captain of his high school baseball team, Lucas could throw a decent fastball. But instead of going pro, he opted to get a taste of how the boys of summer roll by embedding with the Clinton, Iowa...

  • Watching Your Baseball Team Get Blown Out Is Like Anal Sex

    With each run scored, you grind menacingly into baseball’s pelvis. Slowly at first, you rock back and forth, meeting his thrusts, opening and relaxing and accepting. Wallowing in the luscious depravity of a glorious loss, it barely registers when your...

  • Manny Is Being Manny in Taiwan

    As he came to the plate with a runner on third with two outs in the first inning, the atmosphere in Taipei was electric. Fans screamed and chanted his name (“MANN-EEEEE”) while banging on unnecessarily loud cone-shaped noisemakers. Despite stranding...