chris nieratko
Measure B Is a Pain in the Dick
Let’s not bullshit ourselves, condoms flat out suck—both in one’s private life and in pornos. They’re uncomfortable boner-ruiners that girls are always trying to put holes in to get my babies. In porn, from a fan’s perspective, it’s just not...
That Bitch Sandy Took Away My Porn
Like most people in New Jersey, I lost power Sunday night due to that historic bitch, Hurricane Sandy. After three days without the internet I now know what it's like to be stranded on a deserted island for years.
Meet The Nieratkos - My Buddy’s Dad Was a Blood Diamond Smuggler
I thought my friend was blowing smoke up my ass when he used to tell me about his dad’s blood diamond ring and beating guys within an inch of their lives with a chair. Guess not.
Meet the Nieratkos - Kimberly Kane in Skinema Tomorrow
Chris talks interracial sex, rape, and an all-semen diet with porn star and subject of tomorrow’s "Skinema," Kimberly Kane.
Meet the Nieratkos - How I Spent My Tampa Vacation
ATL Twins, Selena Gomez, Bruce Springsteen, Yankees game, catching a whale, enormous titties—this sums up my weekend at the Tampa Pro skate contest.
Season Three of Adventures with Chris Is Upon Us
So far Chris has explored a NATO training base in Germany, gone to his retarded Uncle Lonnie's Christmas party, and taken poor children to Jersey. The bar is set pretty high.
Meet the Nieratkos - Bears Are Not Dinosaurs
This week Nieratko went to a dinosaur exhibit to see dinosaurs, because that what you'd expect to see. Instead, he saw a stuffed bear.
Jersey Shore XXX: A Porn Parody
I hope they don't kick me out of Jersey for saying this but I've always hated the Jersey Shore.
Belladonna's Ass Wide Open
If this is a remake of that Kubrick film then I don't see the resemblance between the cover model, Bobbi Starr, and Nicole Kidman.