Dos & Don'ts
Our most famous DOs & DON’Ts caption writer, the Fat Jew, has a new web series that illustrates exactly what happens when a filthy degenerate decides reproduction is a good idea. It’s called SCUM DADZ.
We know we already had a party in honor of the DOs & DON'Ts book in New York back in July, but we’re throwing another one because 1) The brand-new e-book edition is coming out and 2) We like throwing parties.
Girls can wear cheap shit if their shoes are expensive.
Rolling on E can be a bit of a bummer if you're not the center of attention and nobody wants to make out with you. But when you're the master of ceremonies and you're lying there like a Native American Thor with at least three viable pussy options...
Sometimes, when you don't want to talk about money or free stuff or whose son's a dentist, it's nice to be able to go to Chinatown, buy a packet of this and just talk to a Jew.
Had enough? No? OK, let's get The Onion's Amie Barrodale to pump out 100 more.
What do you do for a living? "Oh, I own a demolition company that uses the lyrics from 'War Pigs' as its motto."
When he was 29, Jesus wrote The Bible because he knew it would get him laid. Guess what--it worked.