Gross
Illegalize It!
Apples should be illegal. What a terrible food. They never satisfy your hunger and they make way too much noise. Have you ever heard someone bite into an apple? It’s disgusting. It sounds like a tree is falling inside someone’s skull.
Vice Fashion - Sausage Eating Contest
Officially sausages are made from a mixture of beef and pork with fancy herbs. What’s not on the packets are; Sodium Nitrate which gives you cancer or the ‘casings’ that are made out of pigs’ intestines.
Whose Farts Smell Worse?
We hired a male model from the internet and got two girls who work in porn to fart on his face twice. They did this once while wearing jeans and once while wearing skimpy porno underwear.
Bulimi-ania!
Bulimia's fucked up. I just spent a week doing it to see what it's like, and I don't understand how those bitches survive.
Eat Vegemite?
Within 24 hours of landing in Australia, I heard the word “multicultural” more times than I’d cumulatively heard it in my entire life. This is hilarious to me, since nineteen out of twenty o’ you melanoma-cases-in-waiting are of bone-white Euro...
I'm Busted
Breakfast in the Feds is served from 6 AM to 7 AM and ranges from coffee cake to pancakes to bear claws to egg-and-cheese bagels to cinnamon rolls to waffles.
Bag Of Shite
Our UK intern Jack smells funny. It's not because he doesn't shower or anything, it's because he rides one of the dirtiest buses in the whole of London every day.
Worms Attack
OK, you don't know anybody with AIDS and you very likely never will. You do know a fair share of people, mainly slightly older friends with seedy pasts, who've had the clap.
Teenage Suicide
A couple of days later, another body was found, about one week dead. Are you seeing a pattern here? It’s like, whaaaaat? 13-year-old track-and-field player Jean DaBord had overdosed on his infirm grandmother’s prescriptions while lying in bed beside...
Gross Jar
Spring has come, and our former rat deficiency has blossomed like a patch of verminous rhododendron into an overwhelming abundance.