making out with fat ladies

My Greatest Regret Is Not Making Out with a 500-Pound Woman on a Shitty Talk Show

My biggest regret, the one that haunts me to this day, the one I think about more than any other, the one that sends me into cold sweats is, “What if I had agreed to appear on that sleazy talk show pretending I dated a 45-year-old 500-pound woman back...