Republicans
Reality Quiz
Greetings! In light of this week's election, your local GOP committee is sending out this quiz to gauge our party's commitment to reality. As a registered Republican, your input is crucial to determining future party direction. Remember, there are no...
Jay-Z: 99 Problems but a Mitt Ain’t One
Bruce Springsteen came on stage to support Obama. I mean, I have a fucking Bruce Springsteen tattoo and even I was a little baffled by what the hell he was doing up there. Then Jay-Z came on and rapped about Mitt Romney.
Guns, God, and No Democrats at Knob Creek
Two weekends ago I was at Knob Creek Gun Range, a weaponry Mecca in West Point, Kentucky, that holds a biannual event that is sort of like a comic book convention where everyone is cosplaying as someone from 'Call of Duty.' A person could view, buy...
Fear and Trolling on the Campaign Trail ‘12
Sasha Issenberg studies how campaigns use behavioral and analytical data they have about you to influence your vote. Whether it's a call to arms from the President himself at the top of your inbox or a creepy, unmarked letter signed by a fictional...
The Jets Are America's Team
The Cowboys aren't America's Team, though they're called that. The Jets, mediocre and unprepared like us, get that honor. That the team's owner wants a Mitt Romney win more than a Super Bowl is sad icing on the despair cake.
This Week In Florida - Seagulls, Sandwiches, Prostitution, and the RNC
This week, the county reached a settlement with a woman who was hit by a Volusia Beach Patrol truck in 2010. The patrolman veered his Ford pickup out of the travel lanes and rolled over the lady’s beach chair, breaking her leg and injuring her chest...
What Do the Chairs Think About Clint Eastwood's Speech?
There’s been a lot of discussion and analysis of Eastwood's rambling, ad-libbed speech—and rightly so—but I think everyone is unfairly ignoring a group of voters who were clearly heavily invested in the speech, and I don’t think that’s right. So I...
I Watched Chris Matthews Eat a Sandwich at the RNC
At the RNC, go to the stage in the weird outdoor mall area near the convention center, where you can watch Chris Matthews watching speeches. It's sort of like he’s an animal in a zoo.
Republicans Don't Know How to Party
Tampa's nightlife has been dead since the convention. Where are all the secretly deviant Republicans I’ve heard so much about? Has the party followed Romney’s lead and given up all stimulants and intoxicants?
The Silliest, Most Terrifying Things in the Republican Platform
Yesterday, the Republican Party released its official platform, which is a list of stuff they like and don’t like—it’s sort of like a child’s Christmas wish list, only instead of getting presents the child wants to build insanely expensive war machines...
Mitt Romney Hates the Crazy Christians Too
Todd Akin and his ilk have the potential to link the Republican Party and the word "rape" permanently in the fickle minds of undecided voters. Romney's not thrilled about that.
The Wacky World of the Republican Party Platform
The GOP let ordinary people submit policy ideas to be considered for the platform this time around. A lot of them are terrifying, some of them are smart, some are funny, and none of them will matter in the end.