• Krohn’s Disease - Angry Lesbians Are Everywhere

    Angry people are everywhere. I should know because I’m one of them. I’m not a lesbian, but I am very angry. Mostly at people, but occasionally at animals. I’m also angry towards politicos for ruining the terms “hope” and “opportunity” with their lack...

  • With God on All Sides

    Many evangelical Christian Republicans, from Chuck Norris on down, would have you believe that Obama is the Anti-Christ. Other Americans, presumably Democrats, actually believe Obama is Christ. Everyone wants to claim that Christ is on their side...

  • Ten Assholes Up for Re-Election in 2012

    Lately, everybody has been focusing on the assholes at the top of the ticket, but there are a slew of Republicans and Democrats up for re-election this Novemeber who personify what it means to be a human anal cavity.

  • Mitt Romney: A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing or Pragmatic Technocrat in a Tea Party Hat?

    This is the most important election of our generation. Yes, that’s what we say every four years, but if you listen to the dangerous gibberish that gets spouted by the Tea Party and all of their mouthpieces, you’ll understand that the ideological stakes...

  • This Week In Florida - Seagulls, Sandwiches, Prostitution, and the RNC

    This week, the county reached a settlement with a woman who was hit by a Volusia Beach Patrol truck in 2010. The patrolman veered his Ford pickup out of the travel lanes and rolled over the lady’s beach chair, breaking her leg and injuring her chest...

  • Set List - Vic Bondi Still Thinks it’s Fucking Midnight in America

    On the heels of the RNC, we had Vic Bondi choose his favorite anti-republican anthems. He also threw in five songs he wrote as well, and why the fuck not? He’s in the best scene in American Hardcore and still hates Republicans.

  • I Watched Michele Bachmann Talk About Spinach on the Last Day of the RNC

    I headed to the cigar tent, like a good Republican, to unwind after having my eyes and ears fed with apocalyptic warnings about the dangers of anarchist communists for the past three days at the RNC. It was a great convention.

  • What Do the Chairs Think About Clint Eastwood's Speech?

    There’s been a lot of discussion and analysis of Eastwood's rambling, ad-libbed speech—and rightly so—but I think everyone is unfairly ignoring a group of voters who were clearly heavily invested in the speech, and I don’t think that’s right. So I...

  • Posing as a Gay Republican at the RNC Will Get You Laid

    Getting gay laid at the RNC is easy. All you have to do is keep a straight face while saying you voted for John McCain in the last election and you'll be getting your salad tossed faster than Paul Ryan will decimate Medicare.

  • I Watched Chris Matthews Eat a Sandwich at the RNC

    At the RNC, go to the stage in the weird outdoor mall area near the convention center, where you can watch Chris Matthews watching speeches. It's sort of like he’s an animal in a zoo.

  • Republicans Don't Know How to Party

    Tampa's nightlife has been dead since the convention. Where are all the secretly deviant Republicans I’ve heard so much about? Has the party followed Romney’s lead and given up all stimulants and intoxicants?

  • Question of the Day - Who Would Win in a Fist Fight, Obama or Romney?

    We asked some dweebs at a Rock the Vote event that was taking place during the Republican National Convention. Not surpassingly, the crowd at the Rock the Vote event favored the lanky liberal with the long arms.