The Jobs Issue

  • Skinema

    You know Ghostface Killer is my dad, right? I mean he's going to be my dad. Some day. All I need is five minutes of his time to work it out and I'm sure I could convince him to be my big poppa.

  • The World's Greatest Job

    I thought jizz moppers didn't exist anymore. Isn't it illegal to beat off in public places now?

  • Pockets Dumb Fat

    Listen, Columbo. You're mad because your money comes slow, and what you make in a year, I make at one show.

  • Games

    Apart from Megatron, the evil Decepticons were so much better than the mummy's boy Autobots.

  • Girl Fights

    I was waiting for my girlfriend to finish thrift shopping at Aardvark's in Venice Beach when I noticed a really attractive black girl sitting on the boardwalk with an ice pack on her head.

  • Vice Pictures

    Angela has wanted to work with dead bodies since she was nine years old.

  • M.O.P.'s Mommy

    M.O.P. are the music industry's biggest bullies, the gun-clapping Ted Nugents of hip-hop.

  • Loaded Basses

    A lot of bands at the moment seem to share a similar formula. Sure, they mix in their own unique ingredients, but the recipe remains pretty much the same.

  • High Spy

    I am a fucking narc and I work for a corporation that rents me and my fellow narcs out to your bosses for the sole purpose of getting you fired.

  • Ungrateful Dead

    Yes, I'm a funeral director. That doesn't mean that I stand there in a jacket and skirt at someone's wake comforting the bereaved family. Nope.

  • Pretty In Pink

    I dj and perform with DAMN, am a music consultant, produce, remix, and edit material for fashion wankers and corporate winkies alike and I co promote the Bang Gang with my good friends.

  • Fire A Friend

    After failing to get any of the eight jobs for which I recently had interviews, I decided that something was definitely amiss.