The Raised Up Right Issue
Seals Are Assholes
Australian fur seals may sound like stuffed animals with a pulse, but in reality they’re greedy blobs of fat who will eat all of Tasmania’s salmon if the current situation is left unchecked. For these fatties, salmon is “like a cross between a Big Mac...
Me Vs. “Me”
Disassociative identity politics is when anyone decides to cast a Hail Mary vote, maybe on the basis of likability or on some imagined basis of a very different Future Me or something, thus avoiding the participatory requirement of their minitribe in...
Shiva’s Wedding
We’d been in India for a month, and it looked like the wedding wasn't going to happen. The last two times I’d been married my brides had been enthusiastic—they were insistent, even. Now I was getting married for a third time to a woman who didn’t want...
Keep Your Reputation Tight with Reconstructive Hymen Surgery (or, if You're Poor, Chinese Hymens)
Whores, do I have some good news for you: Reverting your vagina to its pre-popped state is possible. (Not in the medical sense, of course, but in the by-the-standards-of-the-poorly-educated-and-ultrareligious sense.) In fact, many women around the...
Transmutations in Tijuana
Eduardo Herrera Gómez is 30 years old, and he is one of 25 “redeemed” homosexuals who have kneeled before Alma Leticia Rosas, a Pentecostal pastor who claims to have the power to exorcize diabolical spirits that, according to her, cause homosexuality...
Zak Loves Mandy
Last year, porn star Mandy Morbid was diagnosed with Ehlers–Danlos syndrome. But through all of Mandy’s hardships, Zak Smith has never left her side. I talked with the couple about their love and how it exists so gracefully in a world of porn, art, and...
Advertisers Are Living in Your Brain
A group of researchers used brain-computer interface devices to extract PINs from people’s minds and published their findings. One of the paper’s authors, told us not to worry about being mindfucked. Instead, this technology will mostly be used for...
The Forgetful Ghost
If you claim to like books and reading and don’t know who William T. Vollmann is by now, there is even less hope for this thing we call humanity than what can be gleaned from his prose. Bill sent us this great story about an amnesiac spirit which is...
On the Wagon
Brain seepage, I think to myself as I watch paramedics tend to a rider who’s been ripped from his saddle. He’s not getting up. It’s the first hour of the first day of the National Championship Chuckwagon Races in Clinton, Arkansas, and I’m just...
Death of the American Hobo
If highways and roads are America’s veins, the hundreds of thousands of miles of tracks are like those chakra diagrams in acupuncturists’ offices, the hidden flows of energy that affect the body as a whole.
Employees of the Month
Assistant Editor Angelina is really excited about being an Employee of the Month, mostly because she gets to share a picture of herself next to her alter ego, Cookie Monster.