Tim Tebow

  • What I Want from the NFL in 2013

    First of all, I want football to continue to happen and not cease to exist because the world has been swept by disease/war/starvation/robots and we no longer care about frivolous things like what large men do with an oddly shaped ball. Then I want Tim...

  • J! E! T! S! Mess Mess Mess!

    I love it when Tim Tebow's teammates tell the media that he's terrible. I love it when Rex Ryan's wife makes foot fetish videos. I love the dysfunction and the abject failure and Mark Sanchez's terrible love life. Go Jets!

  • The Jets Are America's Team

    The Cowboys aren't America's Team, though they're called that. The Jets, mediocre and unprepared like us, get that honor. That the team's owner wants a Mitt Romney win more than a Super Bowl is sad icing on the despair cake.

  • Wide World of Balls - Five Golden Rings

    The Olympics are underway and weird, baseball players with goatees are being traded, and football has (kind of) started.

  • The Worst Idea in Sports

    Most television networks would not take time out of their own broadcasting schedules to air formal-dress jerk-off awards, for obvious reasons. But if the network in question was an all-sports network trying to figure out what to do with a weekday night...

  • My Dark Secret: I Like Watching Skip Bayless

    "First Take" is completely indefensible, boorish, brainless, redundant, and drenched in corporate musk. And I watch it every week.

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