Tubesteak

  • If You Stick Things in Your Pee Hole, Awful Things Will Happen

    Male readers of the internet crossed their legs and let out a unified grimace of pain yesterday when a story made the rounds about a 70-year-old Australian man who got a fork lodged in his dong.

  • The Best Online Sex Ads Posted from Military Bases in Afghanistan

    Despite the fact that military bases are often featured prominently in gay porn, I don’t imagine there is a whole lot of sex happening at them, IRL. Getting laid while on duty requires discretion, and propositioning the people you work with is about as...

  • Don't Celebrate the Gay Marriage Victory with a Wedding of Your Own

    To all my homosexual brothers and sisters: I am cheering with you today. But just because we can get married, doesn't mean that we should. Gay culture is new to legal recognition, so, like our first time getting drunk at a high school...

  • How to Make Friends and Influence Homos (Into Sleeping with You)

    Like any good homosexual with an iPhone and a propensity for indiscretion, I spend plenty of time on Grindr, the app that shows you other gay dudes in your immediate vicinity who are also looking for dick. That said, familiarity breeds contempt, and...

  • At the World’s Gayest Party: Life Ball 2013

    Every year, the Life Ball packs a plane full of singers, drag queens, dancers, club promoters, press, DJs, and various hangers-on from New York nightlife's queerer corners and ships them over to the home of Mozart for the amusement of the Austrians and...

  • How to Hone Your Gaydar to Perfection

    These days with more and more social circles becoming sexually diverse, how can you tell if the guy swinging a glow stick next to you at some Bushwick "rave" is looking to put his pole in a hole or looking for another pole to pole all over his face?

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  • The Red Marriage Equality Sign on Your Facebook Profile Is Completely Useless

    It's a big week in the fight for “marriage equality,” which is what most gay activists want us to call gay marriage. Right now gay activism needs all the help it can get. Know what’s not helping? Changing your Facebook profile picture to a silly red...

  • Guys, It's Time to Stop Shaving Your Junk

    There is nothing more disappointing than taking a new guy home for the first time and ripping his clothes off, only to find that he has "manscaped" himself to look like some sort of dude-shaped topiary.

  • That Time I Got in a Fight With a Male Stripper

    Driving out past the palm-lined strip malls and blinking neon motels, I knew that Swinging Richards was going to be the kind of place where you find trouble. After all, this place is far on the outskirts of Miami, near 174th Street with all the other...

  • Are You a Slut?

    If you're taking this quiz, then you probably already know the answer. Still, why not give your suspicions some validity?

  • Why Are All These Gays Taking Grindr Photos at a Holocaust Memorial?

    Grindr Remembers is a website devoted to cataloging all of the Grindr profile pictures taken at the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin. When the internet realized this site existed a few days ago it exploded with rage, so I contacted the...

  • How to Suck an Uncut Cock

    There comes a moment in every American cocksucker’s (and I use that term as an honorific) life when he/she pulls down a pair of trousers and is met not with a well-shorn sailor, but a hooded monk. Yes, I'm talking about the rare occasion (in America...