Wasted Life
Meet the Republicans
If you want to get to know this year's Republican candidates, listening to their rhetoric will only take you so far. To know these four men, you must listen to what they listen to.
Sting's Commune with the Masters of the Universe
Sting talks to the ancient gods in sacred psychedelic visions and then he shares their healing wisdom with us. But what exactly do they chat about?
Your Body Is a Wonderland
I wanted to experience what Mayer felt while making the music video for "Your Body Is a Wonderland," so I masturbated, rewrote the lyrics, and sang it to my probation officer.
Jimmy Buffett
Are you are a flabby, middle-aged white person who likes to get shitfaced and jet ski at the lake with your cousins? If so, you should consider becoming a Parrothead.
2012: The Year in Preview
I, Moe Bishop, will use my visionary gifts to reveal the coming year's styles unto you. Here are the two major trends that will shape the fresh new sounds of 2012.
Christmas Weirdness with the Beatles
Tap dancers, game show contestants, an injured woman from Solihull, two elderly Scotchmen munching on a rare cheese, the King's feast, Jasper and Podgy the Bear huddled around a fire.
An Andy Williams Christmas
It wouldn't be nice to pick on Andy only one month after he announced he has cancer. I wish him well, if only because I have long dreamed of experiencing Andy's Christmas show on skag.
Cat Stevens
Things got kooky when Cat converted to Islam in 1977--he grew out his beard, added "Islam" to his name, and supported Ayatollah Khomeini's death sentence on Salman Rushdie.
A Thanksgiving Prayer
Songwriters wouldn't piss on Thanksgiving if it was on fire, and it is, and they don't.