Coronavirus Cancelled Sports. Here's How to Fill the Void

On Wednesday, the sports world was broken by the coronavirus.

The NBA suspended their season, the NCAA announced they won't be playing in front of crowds, and we learned that players on Juventus had tested positive for COVID-19. As the day turned, the tsunami of news just kept coming—and it's kept coming since.

Post-secondary athletics are cancelling tournaments left and right, tennis isn't happening for a while, and MLS is halting the start of their season. Frankly, by the time you read this, that list most likely will most likely be longer.

The leagues that haven’t outright suspended games feature teams that are going to be forced to play inside empty stadiums. MLB’s Seattle Mariners, for example, are scrambling to figure out how to play home games in their state after Washington State’s governor banned large gatherings. Across the pond, soccer has been affected massively. Players on Leicester City have tested positive for the virus and Real Madrid players are in quarantine as La Liga is suspended. Italy, where one of the worst outbreaks is occurring, has suspended all sports and one of their top soccer teams, Juventus—who feature superstar Cristiano Ronaldo—have had a player test positive for the virus.

Earlier today, the NHL, which shares many facilities with the NBA, told their players and team personnel not to congregate and later broke the news to owners that the league was suspending play indefinitely. Major League Soccer did likewise.

Infectious-disease experts have told VICE that it’s prudent to avoid large gatherings, like sporting events, and that the virus would likely spread quickly among players. Lee Igel, a clinical associate professor at the New York University Institute for Global Sport, said that leagues will most likely treat suspended seasons like lockout-shortened ones, rather than face the logistical nightmare of rescheduling games but, at this point, no one knows what the future holds.

So with all that dire shit in mind, here’s a list of the major sporting events that have been cancelled and, because we like you, suggestions for what to do with the time you otherwise would have spent watching sports.

After an Utah Jazz player tested positive for coronavirus, the league decided to suspend play for at least two weeks. How they will handle the possibility of makeup games and the playoffs remains to be seen.

Youtube has a whole bunch of vintage games featuring the old hand-check rule; go watch Michael Jordan play against cavemen and ponder whether he really was the greatest of all time.

The ATP has announced a six-week suspension of their play. This includes Indian Wells, the Miami Open, the men's clay court championship in Houston, the Grand Prix in Marrakech, the Barcelona Open, and the Hungarian Open.

To ease your heartbreak of the fifth major being pushed back, may I introduce you to this blog that will inform you on how to set up a pickleball court at home so you can get all your forehands, backhands, and slices out of your system? If that’s not possible you can go find yourself a wall and train your heart out.

It's been reported that the NHL told owners earlier today that the regular season would be suspended. As with basketball, what this means for the rest of the season and playoffs is unknown.

Go to your mom's house, get out your old rollerblades, call the boys from the block for the first time in years, and get your old road hockey team together to run roughshod over the neighbourhood once more. Who needs an Oilers run when the Fort Saskatchewan Rebels are sending tennis balls top-cheese?

Italy has cancelled all sports indefinitely as they deal with a massive outbreak. This includes their top league.

You know those things that are like a soccer ball with a bungee cord attached to it, and you hold the bungee when you hit the ball so it flies out and then comes back at you? Yeah, OK, now just do that for 90 minutes plus extra time; feel free to make beseeching gestures at any authority figures nearby while claiming you did nothing wrong.

Real Madrid players are in quarantine and Spain’s top soccer league has suspended matches going forward.

Do the above, but fight anyone who looks at you wrong.

The MLS will be suspending its season for 30 days.

Do the above, but in a far less grand way, while insisting it’s impressive.

The Overwatch League, which I just learned was a thing, canceled all their events in March and April. Kind of feels they could finagle a way for them to work from home for this one but alright. Play Fortnite.

The biennial indoor track and field world championships were going to be held in Nanjing, China this month but were pushed back until 2021.

Go to your local park and just whip rocks down a field.

Tour of Hainan, the UAE tour, the Strade Bianche, the GP Luciano, the Tirreno-Adriatico, the Mountain Bike World Cup, the Tour de Normandie, the Giro di Sicilia, and others have all been postponed or cancelled.

Peloton, babbbbaaayyy! Alternately, save a grand or three and get a cheap set of rollers and prop your bike up on them.

The Formula One Chinese Grand Prix in Shanghai has been postponed and the E-Prixs in Japan, Sanya, Rome, and Jakarta have been cancelled.

Here’s a website that will allow you to watch live streams from a whole bunch of traffic cameras in Ontario. Go nuts.

The Women’s World Hockey Championships was set to be held in Halifax at the end of the month, but was cancelled outright last week.

Dig out your original Xbox, blow the dust off the games, pop NHL Hitz into the tray, and get going.

Leading into March Madness, the Big 12, Southeastern Conference, AAC, and Big East have all cancelled their tournaments. The Ivy League has cancelled all their spring sports, including hockey, basketball, and lacrosse.

Two words: Spikeball highlights.

Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter.