How to Dress Sexy for a Special Occasion

If you’re looking to give your sex life a kick up the arse, dressing up is a sure fire way to do it. Whether that means wearing some especially complicated lingerie under your date night clobber, pulling together a full Margot-Robbie-as-Harley-Quinn outfit or simply whipping out your best boxers that don’t have elastic pinging out the side, a little visual reinvention can go a long way. It’s the horny equivalent to rearranging the furniture in your room – basically the same, but it *feels* different. 

Unfortunately many people fear dressing up on account of the damage done by “sexy nurse” costumes in high street card shops and The Full Monty. It can feel comedic, something exclusively reserved for Halloween and stag/hen-dos – that is to say, for a laugh. But Megan Barton-Hanson says otherwise. In this month’s column for VICE, Megan talks us through the do’s and don’ts of incorporating dressing up into your everyday life. It doesn’t always have to be as daunting or self-conscious as you might think.

Or, if you’re in the depths of the winter blues and really not feeling yourself right now, why not check out Megan’s previous column on how to balance dating and your mental health?

Let’s address the elephant in the room: dressing up is for everyone, but it is difficult for straight men to dress up. Things can go very camp very quickly and then it feels like more of a joke. Like, oh my god you look fit, but also look at your nut sack hanging out of the side of that silver thong – it can be a little corny. Unless you’re off to a sex party or you’re super confident in what you like, less is more for men. When you go and see male strippers they’re often just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, for example. So I say scrap the thong and just get a nice pair of grey joggers – maybe a size too small, to make sure the bulge is bulging.

Dressing up doesn’t have to be an awkward costume change after date night. Pick a cute outfit you can wear the hot underwear underneath. That way, you can send them a picture from the bathroom during the date, or flash them a peek in the cab ride back. It’s so fun to get them turned on and build up to getting home. The bodies in my range with Wolf and Whistle, for example, can be worn as outerwear with a skirt and pair of boots, so it’s not the whole “BRB” when you get back and they think you’ve got food poisoning because you’ve been in the bathroom for so long trying to attach all the straps to your stockings. Especially after a few wines – it’s a struggle, believe me!

I had a friend who wore one of those red birthday bows, paraded out for the guy, and he burst out laughing. The poor girl, I would have cried! Even if you're not feeling it, compliment your partner. The sassier she feels, the better sex you're going to get. 

The amount of times guys have said “I just like you naked babe…” Erm, sorry Simon, just because you get overwhelmed with the number of suspender straps on the £200 underwear that hurt my soul to afford? Bore off! When I wear underwear and feel sexy, it makes me more turned on. I’m a super visual person, so I won’t lie – sometimes it’s more for me than my partner. 

It sounds extra, but when I’ve been single for ages and I just want to have a pure self-love night, I’ll run a bath, put some lip balm on – not makeup, obviously! – put some cute underwear on or a nice set of pyjamas and get my sex toy out. It’s all for you. It’s just a plus that if you have a partner involved – you both get better sex at the end of it!

If you’re keen to give BDSM a try but you’re unsure of where to start, there’s some amazing outfits that have handcuffs and body harnesses included. There are lots of brands out there that combine lingerie and fetishwear (I buy a lot of mine from MARIEMUR), which could be a good starting point. Or you could go for something that doesn’t involve dressing up at all, like a blindfold or those restraints that go under your mattress. Some of the bondage stuff can be super expensive so there’s no need to splash out if you can’t afford it – you can always use your guy’s tie or a pair of stockings to tie each other up. Get creative with it!

If a matching set and suspender belt might be a bit of a reach, you’re not feeling too confident in yourself, or simply don’t want to seem like you're trying too hard: Play it down. Get some short shorts, some knee-high socks and a little crop top. This used to be my go to when dating new guys, like “oh yeah I just wear this to sleep in, look how cute I am with my arse hanging out and pigtails ready for bed”. If only they saw the real me before bed! You could also put on one of his shirts and leave it half open – a little boob never hurt – or even just a tight top and little French knickers. 

Ultimately, it’s whatever you feel the sexiest in. I think it’s so powerful how underwear and clothes can make you feel. Stripper heels, too – don’t forget the shoes! Before I worked in the sex industry, I never thought men would even pay attention, but on OnlyFans a lot of men are surprisingly particular with what clothing they like. So if you know your guy has a foot fetish, go for some open toe strappy heels, or stockings and a really high heel. I had one ex who loved me in a pair of fishnets and Doc Martens and nothing else. Sexiness comes from within, so experiment with what you feel the hottest in!