Hate Mail Of The Month

Trolls, indecent comments, slandatory remarks. When it comes to hate on the internet it’s an even playing field. 

We love our haters. No, we truly do. It’s what makes the wonderful gaping chasm of the world wide web go round. It keeps it interesting. And while our followers (and haters) love to dish it out, it is only ethical and morally right for us to give it back. 

It’s all fun and games at the end of the day. But we here at VICE should get a chance to respond, shouldn’t we? If you have the gall to post hate on the internet then an Uno reverse is fair, right? RIGHT??? It’s the rules of the game.

And a little side note: because the big boss said we’re not actually allowed to display photos or usernames we’ve used your profiles to come up with apt alias’s. Hope you like them!

So without further ado, welcome to Hate Mail of the month, where we respond to our most favourite digs and disses.

Dear VICE,

This is manipulation of the mind to get the public to hate the police force in each jurisdiction. This will then bring the introduction of a national police force that will only answer to the capital and their laws they deem fit to the nation.

All countries of police force will be rendered useless to each state.”

Uh, yes, that’s right.

Dear VICE,

No wonder journalism is dying.

This was on a post about using a sex toy. We send them to the Pulitzer every year but, yeah, they keep passing on it.

Dear VICE,

No Shit, jesus fkn christ. Weed is a non psychoactive substance. Please stop doing your thing and fold. Everyone knows VICE sucks.

You either want us to post about scientific studies, or you want us to listen to you and your mate Damo. Of course we know this shit. But the government responds to studies.

Dear VICE,

Bla bla bla VICE is dead!

We’re right here dickhead.

Dear VICE,

This is the reason I’m unfollowing this page.

Fair.

Dear Vice,

Love when spoiled brats become journalists.

Also fair.

Dear VICE,

Are you sedated? A little more energy babes.

Caffeine-induced hosts on TikTok are too normalised. We’re doing something good for society!

Dear VICE,

Wears a nose ring of precious metals and recording video on said mined minerals, villianizes guy for mining said minerals.

Don’t you DARE bring a $10 nose ring into this!!!!!

Dear VICE,

How tf is this even news anymore, get a real job.

Who told you we do news?? WHO TOLD YOU THAT???

Dear Vice,

Did you just find some random weirdo from inner city Melbourne to do a summary of this? Very wide of the mark. Poor form.

It’s like you know us. Do you want to kiss?

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