Name a greater labor of love than spanking one’s saucisson. I’ll wait! But not too long—there are just too many Labor Day sex toy dealsdealdeals [ejaculates in airhorn glitter] that just landed, and they won’t last forever.
But we know, we know. You’re buuusy. You’ve got a vibrator already, and it works just fine—but is “just fine” good enough for your needy nethers? It’s time to add a bit more spice to your fall butt plug rotation, and snap out [clears throat in Cher] of your cum-wad harbinger complacency. Besides, you’re not alone in the hunt. We’re here, heavy breathing down your neck with all the horniest savings on toys that have changed the way we get off.
Being the horny mountain hermits we are, we’ve already made a few trips for you to Ella Paradis, Lovehoney, Adam & Eve, and everywhere else where fine dildos are slung and hung out to dry on your 270 thread-count sheets, and we’ve consolidated the best penis strokers, palm vibes, and clitoral suckers that are currently up for grabs. There will be discounts on everything including couples toys, cock rings, and G-spot wands from coveted brands such as CalExotics, Satisfyer, Womanizer, LELO, and other folks who actually give a damn about quality sex toy design.
You work hard every day, buddy. Today, let’s just work on getting harder.
Did you know you can gets loads upon loads (as it were) of sex toys and accessories on Amazon? The shopping behemoth is filled with vibrator sales you can get in on this Labor Day, whether it’s a 29% off bullet vibrator or 20% off wand (a great first time sex toy) you seek.
Babeland is having a special Flash Sale with savings of up to 69% off select toys, including this recharcheable Ripple vibrator. If you’re looking for external clitoral vibrators that aren’t suction-based, it’s the perfect sex toy for a little bit of old fashioned humping and grinding at $16 off.
Ella Paradis is slinging sex toy deals of up to 85% off sitewide for Labor Day with the code RELAX. So if you’ve ever wanted to have an on-call, easy-to-clean handjob machine with warming technology, Satifsyer’s cult-fave peen sleeve is now 25% off. “Honestly I was skeptical at first about the warming effect,” one reviewer writes, “but it's actually perfect. It takes a few minutes to warm up, which is fine cuz you can get yourself going first, and then when it's fully warm and ready to go it feels amazing!”
You scream, I scream, we all scream for this 54% off novelty
creamsicle popsicle dildo, which will go so well with all of our other novelty sex toys (and maybe even make Pickle Vibrator a little jealous).
This trio of 54% off Svakom kegel balls gradually increases in size and weight, and has glowing reviews on Ella Paradis. “I wanted simple, secure. and durable, and that is EXACTLY what I got,” one fan writes, “[these are] super easy [and] the material is also very soft.”
Lovehoney is having a big ol’ Labor Day sale with up to 70% off all-things pleasure-inducing, including toys, bondage, and lingerie. The first toy in our basket? This compact clitoral vibrator from the Fifty Shades of Grey sex toy line, which actually slaps, and it’s 70% off.
“On a scale from one to 100, I’d give a penile orgasm a 10 and a prostate orgasm a 100,” Dainis Graveris, a certified sex educator and relationship expert at SexualAlpha, told VICE in this guide to prostate play. Think of LELO’s Hugo as the Cadillac of prostate massagers, because it slides right up there like a pro with not one but two vibrating motors and a remote control for partner play. Scoop it while it’s 70% off.
Kink-curious? This Bondage Boutique BDSM set is 60% off, and comes with all the blindfolds, floggers, leashes, restraints, and more essentials for acting out your horniest Struwwelpeter cosplay fantasies.
The crown jewel in our [redacted] is this 70% off gold metal anal plug. We can’t wait for you to fall in love with the way it catches the light during downward dog.
LELO is our happy place. In a world where blasé, cheap vibrators run rampant, the Swedish sex toy company is truly committed to bringing the people what they deserve: high quality, luxury vibrators that we actually have chemistry with. The brand is offering up to 40% off for its Summer Sale, which means you can take home the multi-tasking clitoral and G-spot targeting Enigma vibe for $40 off, and grab LELO’s first-ever penis sleeve, the Tron-esque F1S V2, for $57 off.
PinkCherry is holding a its Ultimate Summer Sale, and offering up to 80 percent off its sex toys with the code SUMMER. We are deeply indebted to the Dildo Gods to see such next-level bounty on promo; there are your standard dildos and palm vibes on sale, for sure, but there is also [heavens open] a 54% off dildo blow-up chair, and an epic couples’ sex machine at 40% off. (It even comes with a holder for your smartphone for at-home movie-making.)
… And if you’ve been curious to try the TikTok-viral rose clitoral vibrator, PinkCherry’s take on the new classic is a whopping 67% off.
Spank on and strap-up, sailor.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.