The 69 Best Gifts for Mom, Because Mama Deserves Something Good This Year

Bonjour, mon bébé. If you’re here, it must be time to get a gift for Mommie Dearest, and try to (somehow?) pay back the woman who literally grew us in her womb (so weird when you really think about it), made us infinity macaroni and cheese, and literally and figuratively wiped our tuchuses as we slowly, painfully blossomed into the funky little freakazoids we've come to be. We salute you, people who raise children. It sounds hard.

But those are our moms. We're thinking about the best unique gifts for your mom. Man, she is really something… a goddess. A wildcat! We sure like her. In fact, we spent a couple of days and long, candlelit nights—just like the video for Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now"—thinking all about her and what she might want to receive during this holiday season. Here are 73 lock 'n' load ideas for what to get your mommy. These are the true, actual, best gifts for moms, or for whoever is the literal, spiritual, or metaphorical mama in your life. Something for everyone. We promise.

All garlic shrimp everything—even jewelry. 

Thank ma for the 18 hours she spent on her feet making sure your holiday feast is just right by giving her tired dogs the pampering they deserve. This heated foot massager has over 26,300 reviews on Amazon, including one fan who writes, “My feet can't Kkeep their toes off it.”

So Mommy can stan Daddy or be Daddy (don’t worry, they have Mommy too).

No one is mad at a refreshing, tingly scalp massage. 

This Beaujolais Bundle collection from our favorite online natural wine dealer, MYSA will delight mother, and you won’t have to drink the two-buck Chuck she usually buys.

So Mommy can easily haul her stuff up the stairs if you're not around to help. 

You used to be your favorite, but every since you moved out its Mitzy and Muffin that are first in her heart—show her you love them just as much with a custom painted ornament for her tree.

We've all seen Mommy have a couple of glasses of Beringer Chardonnay and cut loose on the dance floor of our cousin's wedding the second "I Will Survive" blasts outta those speakers. 

Maybe Mommy did LSD, maybe she didn't, but either way she may wish to protect her gorgeous coiffure should she find herself riding shotgun in a Thunderbird. 

It's never too late for Mommy to become the next E.L. James.

We want to see all the other moms staring at your mother while she quenches that thirst, because she is that bitch.

Spoil Mommy with a glorious Nespresso machine (currently 30% off!) so she can invite her friends over for hot lattes and even hotter gos.

What does Mom love more than you? No crumbs. Give her the gift of slicing baguette, olive loaves, bagels, and more with this handy crumb catcher cutting board.

Again, you've gotta use the ol' bean and choose gifts that you will also have access to the pleasures of using. 

She’ll have all of her besties from Agatha Christie, Hercule Poirot, Absolutely Fabulous, and more Brit Box bangers at the touch of a button.

She’ll have the toastiest tootsies with the utmost style. Plus, these slippies don’t have heavy soles that would make Mother drag her feet (she would never!).

So Mommy can spoil Mommy's Fluffy Baby™.  

This VICE reader-favorite olive oil is made from 150-year-old trees, and it’s 25% off Flamingo Estate’s Cyber Monday sale. Get one for your queen before they sell out. (Hot tip: This would also make a great housewarming gift.)

You know who went through 16 hours of labor to bring your dumb ass to this Earth, changed too many diapers, did googolplex dishes, and shouldn't have to get off the sofa to grab the remote? Mama. This is the perfect unique gift for the madre who has everything.

Your mother is a queen. She deserves to slumber like one too, obvi.

Ideal for the coffee- or tea-sloshin’ mamacitas among us who always run back to the microwave to heat up their brew. No more, thanks to this high-tech device!

She’s always generous with the garlic, isn’t she? It’s one of the millions of reasons we love her.

For mommies who love to snuggle. (So, every mommy.)

Let’s be honest: Some of you were just scanning this list looking for flowers. Typical. Fine. Here are some particularly pretty ones for the winter season.

Who says Mom can’t be hippie chic when she's whipping up an entire meal (or, you know, a grilled cheese)? 

Have you had these? ICONIC. While we think these should be illegal (for our sake) these make a great gift for any mom. 

Because social media is hell, and we don't want your mom to suffer in hell, so we give her a super-streamlined, purposely low-feature phone for keeping her beautiful mind clear of any extraneous BS. This phone is about as simple as it gets—just texting, calling, and pretty much nothin’ else. (We want one, too.)

So 90s, we just love it. This, "personal oxygen bar...increases the concentration of oxygen inhaled from 35% to 90% for calm relaxation." Serve with a dirty martini on the side. 

This gorgeous stuff is "a whipped trifecta of shea, cocoa, and mango butters, [plus] vitamins, fatty acids, and pure seed extracts." [Extremely deep voice] Ohhh yeahhhh baby, that's smooth. 

It’s always glug ‘o clock—and not just for wine. Fill this giant chalice with a non-alcoholic spritzer, rose petals, or ranch dressing. 

It’s actually bananas to get a cashmere robe for this price. We love Quince.

What’s gold and silver and glitters all over? Mommy’s stunning LavAzza espresso machine, certo!

“Oh, yeah. They use these at Soho farmhouse, too,” she’ll brag to the ghouls when she hosts her next bottomless brunch.

Pine tree scents for winter, peony for spring. This candle subscription is a basically a grown-up scratch ‘n sniff situation. So much better than an advent calendar.

Did she already tell you the story about how she saw Earth, Wind & Fire that one time? She did? Listen to it again under the glow of this disco ball planter.

As someone recently told us, “If your face fell in poo, you would fully wash it. So why don’t we do that for our bums?”

Mom is tired of solving everyone’s problems—let her rest in silky luxury.

It’s called “mommy time,” Chad. This bath soak is made with epsom salts, passionflower, valerian root, myrrh, Australian sandalwood, and more ingredients that are beloved for their relaxing qualities. As Gwynnie says, “I bathe in it practically every single night.”

Once you go for quilted housecoats, you never go back. It’s the next-best thing to bringing your bed with you wherever you go.

Did Off-White make these dog shoes? They’re very ~fashion~.

One of our writer’s mothers wears this to the YMCA (pre and post-pool), and at home while watching Huell Howser on California’s Gold reruns. 

Mommies love rom coms.

Another VICE reader-favorite. As one Amazon reviewer said about this Casper pillow, “Its comfy, supportive but soft. Great for side sleeping as well as back sleeping.”

Even Mommie Dearest would die for this luxe set (just don’t use a wire hanger!)

18k gold-plated brass is always a nice look at the farmer’s market.

One of our writers bought this for her parents, who love it for kneeling whilst gardening and picking up the grandbaby’s tantrum tater tots.

No matter Mommy's relationship status, ain't nothing wrong with being embraced by a disembodied muscle man pillow to keep actual or potential daddies on their toes. 

It's a big rainbow crystal Jenga, for both enthusiastic display and highly competitive game nights. 

She kept you on pins and needles. Now it’s her turn.

Not all mommies are wine mommies. Optimist is perfect for booze-free spritzers and sippin', with zero hangover so she'll still make it to pole-dancing class tomorrow morn. 

Even the dolphins will bow down.

It’s Botox, babe. If she’s too afraid of injectables, or has been complaining about her fine-lines and wrinkles, she will kiss your cheeks with joy after opening up this NuFACE Starter Kit.

This puffer hood is like a sleeping bag for her face.

Is she in the market for a new set of teeth? Lose them in high-flying style. 

Mommy loves coffee and Bauhaus. Mommy loves the iconic Italian design house, Alessi.

Mommy isn't just your mommy; she is also Fluffy's mommy. And Fluffy deserves a couch that her claws won’t destroy. (Yes, scratch-proof furniture is a thing.)

Perfection. The girls will fawn over it as a cheese plate during bingo night, too.

What’s more luxurious than an incredibly decadent tray of uni, featuring 200g of umami-rich sea urchin roe hand-harvested off the Southern California/North Mexican coast.

Hot, smart people love blue light glasses. A lot of them say it helps ease eye strain from staring at computer screens.

Basically a puffer that serves as a blanket for all impending outdoor activities (hiking, camping, drinking on lawns).

The bowl is classy and strong, but embellished. The bowl is a metaphor (for mom).

This, in addition to a Cameo video greeting from The Real Housewives’ Vicki Gunvalson, is the best gift any breathing human could receive. 

Keep her curls pampered. Oh, and get her some fancy shampoo while you’re at it.

“No big gifts this year,” she said; “Save your money this year,” she said. BS. Moms always want, and deserve, La Mer’s ambrosia.

Naturally, she deserves Boy Smells’ new Grace Jones-inspired candle. It’s a little earthy, floral, and spicy. (Just like you-know-who.)

Who needs the spa, when you have this ample at-home sauna? Now Mother can steam her pores and read The Da Vinci Code (again) in peace.

A pretty, pretty bicycle for our multi-tasking queen/speed demon.

Trust us—these are the softest pjs on the planet and mama will absolutely love them. Plus, now you can build her Eberjey collection, easy gift-buying year after year.

The phone call you receive after mom debuts her gorgeous new Dansk saucepan filled with glorious cheese fondue at the holiday party will be manically ecstatic.

The Big Cheese deserves this big cheese.

Always and forever a momma bear, hovering over her cubs Design Toscano style. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, MA. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.