photos via Gumtree
What is living in London like? Hell. Here’s proof, beyond all doubt, that renting in London is a nightmare.
Where is it? In Ilford, which yeah, technically it's London, but come on, it’s fucking pushing it. Like: it’s fucking pushing it.
What is there to do locally? There's a JRC Global Buffet in Ilford, and I don’t really care what else any town has going for it if it has one of those warehouse-sized all-cuisines buffets, because nothing you have to offer me is going to top that. Just me over here on some weird grey-but-glittering floor tiles, under thousands of downlights, eating slices of dry pizza with a curry on top, how about you? Yeah, hello, yeah, we’re just in JRC Global Buffet having a pint of Carlsberg and an ice cream sundae, can you see us? Yeah, hi, we’ve got a two-hour slot at JRC Global Buffet and we’re treating that as more of a challenge than an invitation, so I’m on my third plate of chow mein topped with chicken poppers and I’m gearing up for a fourth. Yeah, you alright? I know this plate is pretty full, but is there any way you can put an entire Tandoori on top of this fry-up? Condiments are raita, ketchup, gravy. Imagine if you had to experience all the food you’ve ever eaten in all your life in one overwhelming mouthful. That is what buffet is about. An art-form; a tradition; a way of life.
Alright, how much are they asking? £800 pcm.
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