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Vice Blog

Hot secret sect of Swedish lesbians found... and unicorns and mermaids too!

Foreign exchange student Niu Xiaoyu found a secret lesbian enclave in the north of Sweden inhabited by 25,000 sex-mad, man-hating ladies. It's referred to in reports as "Shakebao" or "Chako Paul City" (how very Swedish sounding) and was apparently founded by a rich old widow. It's been around for 150 years and all the inhabitants are young, hot, blonde forestry workers. No man has ever been there, as they run the risk of being "beaten half to death" by the Amazons, the local butch police.

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This little shocker news piece is currently spreading over the world like wildfire. Well we have news for China: one of our exchange students just found out about this amazing city in an oasis in the Xinjian part of the Gobi desert where people ride around on talking seahorse-unicorns! And the city is under water and the people there copulated with fish and became mermaids and, yes as you probably guessed, this magic city is called Atlantis! So all you doubters can shut up and stop calling the authentic fruits of my imagination myths, because what I say goes. And, as it's been published, it is now current news.