You know those 'Open' buttons next to the doors on tubes? Why do people insist on pressing them when they clearly do nothing? I remember when these new trains with the illuminated buttons were introduced a number of years back. I may have naively tried to press one of the pointless buttons once back then but realising it did nothing, I never tried again. So why do I see so many people pressing them every day and expecting something to happen? I see guys in suits who get on at my stop every day doing it and then huffing and puffing when nothing seems to happen. These things are clearly a mechanical placebo. Surely they must realise pressing it has no effect. Are these people braindead?I'm not sure how many different tube line trains use these buttons -
I can only remember seeing them on the Northern and Jubilee Lines. I suppose I haven't noticed them BECAUSE THERE'S NO POINT WHATSOEVER PRESSING THEM OR ACKNOWLEDGING THEIR EXISTENCE.
I mean, do you press every single button you come across? Do you spend
all day tapping away at all the buttons on your phone and keyboard for
the sake of it? Oh. Erm… scratch that last example.Seriously, though, I just hate the pointlessness and hopelessness of
it. It's like watching a goldfish banging head-first into the side of
its bowl every 5 seconds. You can press the button fast, you can press
it slow, you can press it as many times as you want - it will NEVER
have an effect. YOU CAN PROD IT WITH YOUR WALKING STICK, YOU CAN PULL
DOWN YOUR TROUSERS AND RUB YOUR ARSE AGAINST IT, YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR
DOG AND SLAM ITS DELICATE LITTLE HEAD INTO IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN - THE
DOORS WILL STILL NOT OPEN. YOU NEED TO WAIT FOR THE DRIVER TO OPEN
THEM. HE IS IN THE ONLY ONE IN CONTROL OF THE DOORS. YOU ARE MERELY A
WORTHLESS PAWN TRAVELLING ON THE TUBE TRAIN OF LIFE. OKAY?JOHN