FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Vice Blog

It happened - My cat who was a total dick turned out to be gay

About two years ago I lived with a girlfriend who I wasn't too keen on. We got a cat together who was very cute but a total cunt. All he did was bite the shit out of me and attack everything that moved.

Anyway, said girlfriend decided to move back to America which was a great way out for me, and I was gonna take the cat (even though I didn't particularly want to) to my new place. Luckily she was broke and decided to advertise the cat on Gumtree for the princely sum of £200. I know what you're thinking. £200 for a fucking cat. However, a nice gay man rung up and decided to take the cat. The weirdest thing about this story is apparently the cat got nice after he took him, and he even sent me pics of him on Christmas Day in his kitty-Christmas-outfit. My cat was definitely gay all along, and got significantly happier when he could live freely.

In other cat news, I have a lovely current cat, Cow Cat, who I thought was a girl for four months. In fact, HE is not. My girlfriend was playing with him and he was getting all excited and guess what popped out. A tiny cat penis. I STILL LOVE YOU COW CAT.