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Four Things the Internet Can Teach You #11

1. BEING BROKE IS NEVER RIGHT. THESE GIRLS ARE NEVER WRONG.

Memphis Blac and Smokahontas Jones are two prostitutes from Miami. This is their single "Got Dat Work". I'm not sure what the most depressing thing about it is, so I've narrowed it down to five possibilities:

-The realisation that her jewelry is made out of condoms.

-This interview with Memphis where she says "When they buried my sister, her ho-ass nigga tried to dig up her motherfuckin' body and steal her jewelry after she expired, mane, and that's why he in jail right now."

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- "Aint sellin' powder weed or pills, just what's under my skirt"

- That, at 1:12, I'm 99% sure she's rapping about jacking off a traffic warden so that she won't have to pay a parking ticket.

- How little I believe any lines involving prices: "I need at least three Gs to play with these DDDs".

Also, can you believe that "Smokahontas" isn't already a hip band name?

2. ARETHA FRANKLIN IS A BIT OF A TWAT, REALLY

From her Wikipedia:

Their son Kecalf (from the initials of his parents' names: Kenneth E Cunningham Aretha Louise Franklin and pronounced "kelf")…

You can't just do that Aretha. Your son is going to spend his entire life having to explain to people how his name is spelled. It'd be one thing if it were a traditional name that's spelled weird (like this girl who used to intern at Vice whose name was said "Queeva" but spelled something like "Caomi"), but you can't just make up a word and then decide it's pronounced completely differently to how it's spelled. That's just not how things work. You'd think a woman whose name so closely resembles the word "urethra" would be more sympathetic towards people with shitty names.

3. THIS LADY KNOWS YOU'RE GETTING PAID.

It's RUDE!

4. WE'VE DISCOVERED THE WORST PHOTOGRAPHER IN THE WORLD.

According to AOL News, some photographer named Tyler Shields just stayed awake for 40 days. I'm sure it was super difficult and all, and well done to him, but that's not the reason I'm posting it here. I'm posting it here because Tyler is the worst photographer EVER. Check out these pictures I got from his site:

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(Caution, do not look at these photos if you're afraid of HARD TRUTH)

GAHAHAHAHAHA! He seems like he's fairly successful though. I guess the people-who-find-Banksy-too-difficult-to-understand market must be really lucrative.