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GOD LOVE A MONGOLIAN WEDDING

While researching

stuff about bridal veils

, I came across lots of tangential folkloric wedding shenaniganry, most of which would fascinate anyone working on a PhD. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that's roughly the same number of readers who are currently checking this page from the bottom of the ocean. So here, I'll just tell you about the olden day Mongolians, who were out of their fucking minds. The festivities kicked off with the groom and his friends sneaking into the bride's village on horseback, where they were eventually "discovered" by her younger female relatives. These girls poured water on the guys, ridiculed them, stole their hats, pressed tin trays over their heads, made them gnaw on pig bones, and just generally caused them to look like jerks. Eventually the guys bribed the girls to stop harassing them by giving them sewing needles, which they just so happened to be carrying. Then all the women would cry and sing songs about how sad it was that someone was getting married, and they'd make fun of the guys some more. It was either all that or else the groom rolled into town in the middle of the night of a lunar or solar eclipse, threw a comb wrapped in red felt on the roof, and shouted out that he was kidnapping the bride right then and there and she must come out. Regardless of method, after a bunch more weeping and chiding, the bride gets married in a pointy black witch-type hat, or a green veil. Don't ask what that depends on; I have no idea. LIZ ARMSTRONG