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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - THE HARVEST OF EYE CONTACT

For months I probably creeped out hundreds of ladies, making eye contact with women and smiling at girls. Every day I'd check Craigslist, hoping to see something about myself in Missed Connections, only to be discouraged with posts with titles like "You had at least 2 fingers in me at LIT last night." Maybe I like the idea of finding love in an anonymous and unfriendly city, or maybe it's because I want to meet a girl with bangs and low self-esteem--I'm not really sure. And then, a few weeks ago, it happened. Riding the L into Manhattan (of course), I was missed connected.

I felt like I had finally accomplished something with my life. And then I realized: It had never occurred to me what I would do if I actually was written about. Because I don't actually want to meet someone on Craigslist, do I? Do I want to be that kind of person? After much soul searching, I realized that yes, yes that is exactly the kind of person I want to be. So I sent her an email back with my name, telling her to find me on Facebook (I work in baby steps). She did, and then I sent her a message, just a real basic "Hey, what's up?" sort of thing. And then nothing. It's been weeks, and still no response.

I've spent nights unable to sleep, left wondering how I fucked up my dream of internet love. Did I come on too strong? Not strong enough? Should I have asked her to elope? I'll never know. It's like someone gave me a really mild compliment, and then kinda sorta took it back. I mean, what could have happened that one moment a girl is so struck by me that she's searching for me on the internet and then once she finds me she completely ignores me? It's not like I have "robbing and killing women I meet on Craigslist" in my "hobbies" section. I'm discouraged; the internet, the thing I once trusted most, let me down.

HANSON O'HAVER