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HAMILTON'S PHARMACOPIA - NEW WEED-RELATED VOMITING DISORDER

April 21, 2009, 3:21pm

Yesterday was 4/20, hell yes, the most blazed day of the year! I spent the day completely sober in the library. But I was reading about this new disorder that is becoming a

huge sensation in the gastroenterology community

. Suddenly all these hardcore stoners are becoming crippled by overpowering waves of nausea that cause them to vomit non-stop for hours and hours on end, and the only known cure is to take a hot shower. Seriously. It's being documented by independent case reports across the globe, and still nobody knows exactly what the cause is. Weed is supposed to prevent nausea not send you to the hospital in a sea of throw up, so this is totally bizarre.

The three predominant explanations are:

A.) We are smoking more weed now than any other time in human history. B.) Pesticides used by weed growers are poisoning everybody. C.) Something less interesting involving peristalsis and thermoregulation.

But then I was reading this case report about a 26-year-old guy who boiled weed in water and then

injected the weed broth into his veins

. I've heard of people IV-ing white wine and NoDoz and coconut water, but never weed. That's intense. If I ever saw someone inject a nug I don't know what I would say, what can you say? There is nothing to say.

Please don't inject weed (or anything else) though. The case report was only published because this guy had to go to the hospital immediately afterwards (apparently he had injected weed without problems in the past?), but on this occasion his IV weed dose caused uncontrollable vomiting. What I'm trying to say is that if yesterday you injected weed for the first time and had an unexpected two-hour vomit attack, or just smoked weed and had a vomit attack, you are not alone. Take a hot shower at once.

HAMILTON MORRIS