FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Tech

Gettin' Jiggy With Your Cloud Girlfriend

The girlfriend of the future is almost perfect. She's smart, she's fun and she's pretty. She's never in your way but there when you need her. Your friends think she's super hot including your legendary friend Sven who only slays 9's and above. Like I...

The girlfriend of the future is almost perfect. She’s smart, she’s fun and she’s pretty. She’s never in your way but there when you need her. Your friends think she’s super hot including your legendary friend Sven who only slays 9’s and above. Like I said, she’s pretty much perfect.

Except for one small problem: she isn’t real.

Enter Cloud Girlfriend, the Internet’s solution for appearing single. In just four easy steps, you too can experience what it feels like to have other people think you have a girlfriend, claims the splash page to this newly announced venture.

Advertisement

  • Step 1: Define your perfect girlfriend.
  • Step 2: We bring her into existence.
  • Step 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favorite social network.
  • Step 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.

That sounds easy enough. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of lonely people out there. “Due to high demand we are only able to accommodate a limited number of users to the site,” the site warns. “Register early to get in line.”

It’s funny because back in the day, creepsters always ran the risk that the 22/F/FL they’d been contemplating cyber with is actually 45/M/CA. Remember the short film, The Parlour?

Cloud Girlfriend is the next step in that evolution. People are now voluntarily talking to a 45/M/CA all the while pretending that they are actually 22/F/FL, simply for the sake of looking cool on the Internet.

But life can be unfair. Even for those who aren’t lucky enough to be chosen for the site’s limited release, there are options for locked out losers. In fact, this is probably the best option.

Because why play with anyone at all when you can do it yourself.

Connections:
A review of Catfish
The Meanest Scam Ever

Image:

Catfish