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Downloading the Update to Literature's Most Famous Opening Lines

From "McSweeney's":http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/famous-opening-lines-from-novels-updated-for-the-modern-age, a compendium of "Famous Opening Lines From Novels Updated for the Modern Age": h3. “Alice was beginning to tire of sitting by her...

From McSweeney’s, a compendium of “Famous Opening Lines From Novels Updated for the Modern Age”:

"Alice was beginning to tire of sitting by her sister on the bank. She took out her iPhone and played Angry Birds for the next three hours."

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of an internet startup to call his own."

"Call me Ishmael_65."

"Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. Videos of sneezing pandas and narcoleptic cats see to that."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect. Not literally, obviously. He was playing an MMORPG and this was his avatar."

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