Terminator, superstar /
They call you Conan the Barbar /
Pumpin' iron, steel machine /
Living legend, evergreen [???] /
Gabalier continues to enumerate the trajectory of Schwarzenegger's career—he went to Hollywood, got famous, starred in Hercules in New York—until, at long last, we hear from the man himself. This verse is what the song is all about: It is impossible, upon hearing it, to feel anything but inspired, gloriously uplifted, capable of realizing your full potential and achieving the impossible. These are, without question, the purest bars in the history of hip-hop:
GOVERNATOOOOR, Mr. Universe Olympia!
Hey, I’m Arnold Schwarzenegger, listen carefully /
Dig deep down and ask yourself, who do you want to be? /
Not what but who, if you believe, success will come to you /
Do you have goosebumps? Do you feel the urge to trek immediately to Nepal and climb Mt. Everest? Do you see yourself, perhaps for the first time, as the powerful, capable, beautiful soul you were born to become? Yes! Of course you do!At this point, Schwarzenegger gives up on the whole rhyming thing and just kind of starts talking, but you know what? Who cares. This is Whitman-level poetry, an earth-shattering quatrain that needs no rhyme scheme, requires no resemblance to standard songwriting. It is beyond music; it is sheer perfection:
Work like hell, trust yourself and all your dreams come true.
Break some rules, not the law, don’t be afraid to fail /
You have to think outside the box, I say no pain no gain /
I don’t want to hear it can’t be done, give always something back /
Does "fail" even remotely sound like "gain?" Did he really just rhyme "back" with "back?" Did he use the line "My name is Arnold Schwarzenegger" twice in one verse? These questions are of no importance. The sheer power of the message, the purity of these words, the degree to which this man makes you want to conquer your fears and show the world who you really are—all of this exempts Schwarzenegger from the constraints of typical songwriting, the meaningless rubric we apply to determining what makes a "song" "good." This is what music is all about, and not only that—this is what life is all about. Don't do crimes. No pain no gain. Give always something back.Thank you, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Andreas Gabalier, for blessing us with the gift that is "Pump It Up (The Motivation Song)." We hope you really meant it when you said "I'll be back," like, ten thousand times during this song. We can't wait to hear what you dream up next.Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.Follow Drew Schwartz on Twitter.
My name is Arnold Schwarzenegger, I’ll be back.