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All the News You Need to Read This Morning

Drinking a glass of wine a day shortens your life by THIRTY MINUTES.
Screengrab via Adult Swim/YouTube.

The news is part boring and part overwhelming, so here's a quick list of all the stuff we thought was significant today:

Cabinet agrees need for action over Syria

Firms relabelling low-skilled jobs as apprenticeships

Drinking a glass of wine will shorten your life by thirty minutes

Khloé Kardashian gives birth to a baby girl

Tom Daley calls out nations that criminalise being LGBTQ after gold win