Have you ever endured a date so chaotic and jaw-dropping that you felt embarrassed just to be there? You’re definitely not alone.

I recently stumbled upon this Reddit post titled: “Waiters of Reddit, what ‘well, this is going horribly’ dates have you witnessed?” Here are a few instances that showcase common yet concerning woes in today’s dating world—just so you feel a little less shitty about your own date fails.

1. When They Try to Order For You

Ahhh, the classic controlling date who thinks they should—and can—order your own meal for you. I’ve unfortunately had this happen to me. (Yeah, I wanted the chicken tenders over the expensive steak. Sue me.)

“Man tried to order for his date, she didn’t like that, but it was early in the date, so she said nothing; he ordered an expensive appetizer that she didn’t want, only he ate it,” one Redditor wrote. “She looked not impressed but still seemed to be trying to feign interest. Came time to order dinner, and he tried to order for her, something expensive, surf and turf. She said, ‘No, thank you.’ She was a vegetarian (something established before the date) and wanted the vegetarian dish.”

Did he back off? Of course not.

“He … insisted she have the surf and turf,” the Redditor wrote. “She again said no, she wouldn’t eat it. He countered with ‘he could afford it, so why not?!’”

Sighs

2. When They Tell You Their Whole Life Story Without Asking You a Single Question

For some reason, this seems to be a common issue in today’s dating world: ranting and raving for hours without expressing any sort of interest in the other person. 

One former waiter said, “The sheer number of dates I saw that were just one person going on and on and on about themselves and not asking the other person there a single question was mind-blowing.”

“There’s always a date where one person continuously talks about themselves nonstop the entire time,” another wrote. “Like 45 minutes straight of just talking about themselves and never letting the other person speak. It’s usually a guy doing this, but I see women do this too sometimes.”

3. When They Pay More Attention to Their Phone Than to You

I often wonder if people realize how incredibly rude it is to scroll on their phone when someone is actively attempting to have a conversation with them. Maybe they just don’t care.

One person once witnessed a young couple on a date. According to the Redditor, the guy seemed to be making conversation while the girl completely ignored him, glued to her phone.

“Just texting constantly, taking a picture of the dish,” they wrote. “Every now and then, she’d wave her hand like ‘Sorry, just sending a quick message,’ set down her phone for all of 30 seconds before picking it back up and messaging again.”

Note to daters: If you’re not going to give the person your full attention, just stay home.

4. When They Won’t Stop Talking About Their Sibling

…and it starts to feel a little too weird.

You might think this isn’t a common issue, but trust me when I say, every woman I know has a story about a man who is oddly obsessed with his sister (or vice versa)—and this story just further proves it.

“Dude came in with a woman, and any time I overheard any part of the conversation, the guy was excitedly talking about his sister,” one Redditor wrote. “‘Oh, and this one time, my sister…….’ ‘My sister has this great story……’ ‘You would love my sister…’ You get it.” 

“The woman he was with was very polite, and just nodded and listened to all the great stories about her date’s sister,” they continued. “At one point, I went up to them, put my hands under my chin, smiled, and said, ‘Tell me more about your sister.’”

I think many of us wish we had that same backup on our shitty first dates.