Slime Sauce Is the Green Ketchup Nobody Asked For

In the newest installment of edible nostalgia, Nickelodeon and Great Value have teamed up to create “Nickelodeon Slime Sauce,” a (s)lime-green ketchup being sold in Walmart stores across the country. Hooray.

Chances are, if you tuned in to Nickelodeon at any point during the 90s, you probably remember watching as contestants on shows like Double Dare, Wild & Crazy Kids, and Slime Time Live were drenched in gallons of green slime falling from the sky. It was awesome. Slime was awesome. Slime is still awesome. But do I want it on my food? Not really.

Since the green sludge’s debut on You Can’t Do That On Television in 1982, slime and Nickelodeon have been synonymous. Slime became wildly popular among viewers, and Nick took notice. It released a ton of slime-centric products, such as toys, shampoo, furniture, cereal, and now, ketchup. And many of these products were hits with consumers. But despite slime’s wild popularity, slime-based food products have always had relatively short shelf lives. Which then makes for the burning question: Why now, and why ketchup? (MUNCHIES reached out to both Heinz and Nickelodeon to ask, but neither were available for comment at the time of this story.)

It’s a puzzling move by the two companies, since nobody really likes colored ketchup. At least, they haven’t in the past. Take Heinz’s last foray into colorful condiments, for example. In 2000, the ketchup giant introduced EZ Squirt, a kid friendly bottle of Heinz that came in the ever-appealing shade of ‘Blastin’ Green,’ in an attempt to cash in on the first Shrek movie. And it did surprisingly well—for a little while. Unfortunately, Heinz thought this was a solid business model, and followed ‘Blastin’ Green’ with other odd shades such as ‘Stellar Blue,’ ‘Funky Purple,’ ‘Passion Pink,’ and ‘Totally Teal.’ (Yikes.) Shockingly enough, people weren’t really into teal ketchup, and Heinz pulled EZ Squirt off the shelves in 2006.

But, if you really need to fulfill that childhood dream of getting slimed, you can pick up a bottle of the stuff for around two bucks at Walmart. And then, I guess, squirt it on your head? Kind of a sad image, but knock yourself out.