The low engagement on my tweet shamed me, and I deeply regretted that my daddy-curious phase didn't sync up with the heady days of the daddy discourse. Still, I feel it's an important question to ask: What makes someone daddy?The answer is surprisingly elusive due to the myriad contexts of the word daddy. Oftentimes, "daddy" doesn't even denote a coherent set of traits. Justin Bieber is daddy. The Pope is daddy. Zayn Malik is daddy. Bernie Sanders is daddy. Jeremy Corbyn is daddy. Any hot guy is daddy. Any old guy is daddy. Any guy, really, is daddy. It's a joke.Like most things in late capitalism, the word has become meaningless. "Everyone just uses 'daddy' like 'bae' now," a source who is close with teens, and has seen Jaden Smith, Malia Obama, and A$AP Rocky at parties in real life, explained.
"Everyone's a mom or dad the way everyone eats ass," my colleague Sara added. "But in actuality, they either are or they aren't. (They usually aren't.)"A binary, however, is perhaps not the best way to define the term. It's possible for someone to be daddy in one scenario and decidedly not daddy in another, and the concept of "daddy" transcends gender. I realized this two weekends ago, when I found myself telling a guy I didn't know too well to "spank me, daddy." It was the first time I had directed those words to another human being. It was also my first not-quite-a-threesome. I had just broken up with my long-term boyfriend.My friend had grabbed a riding crop she owns and presented it to the guy: "No, spank me, daddy," she instructed. (After a breakup, it's helpful to have friends who are the type to own riding crops.) He half-heartedly fulfilled the request for, like, 20 seconds tops, and then started to seem overwhelmed. After many repeated attempts to get him to resume the spanking—("Spank me, daddy." "No, spank me, daddy!")—my friend just picked up the whip and started spanking me, and I returned the favor. As we carried on, we periodically asked, "Why won't you spank us, daddy?" to no answer.But it suddenly became obvious: The guy wasn't daddy—my friend who owns a riding crop clearly was. I didn't make the connection at first because I had never truly seen her as daddy before that night. She was certainly not daddy when we went to Italy for a week a few years ago and we haplessly slept in until 1 PM, had zero spatial awareness, made it to a grand total of one museum, chain smoked, and ate gelato everyday. (Daddy has a plan and is in control.)"Daddy is fluid," she told me in a text. "Daddy is a vibe. Anyone can be daddy or not daddy at different times—and even daddies need daddies sometimes!"
"Daddies inherently have their shit together and responsibility is sexy."