So you take a hand and push it into an orifice that’s generally smaller than a hand and that’s fisting. And most people are like “yuck,” even though fisting isn’t that much objectively weirder than regular, garden-variety sex. But the mechanics and implied violence turns people off, and so fisting has a stigma.But for many, the stigma is unwarranted and fisting is a joy. So, for the sake fostering honest and stigma-free conversations around sex in all its variously human forms, we spoke to four people who enjoy it. Both giving, as well as receiving.
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They spoke about how they discovered fisting, how it feels, and why it’s their thing. And some names have been changed because they don't want their friends and family knowing.
Kathy
Teacher, 45
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I guess for me, fisting is part of rediscovering my sexuality. I’m a middle-aged woman who works as a teacher and I lost my virginity to my first husband. Then, after his death, I thought my sexual life had been buried with him. But I’ve decided to be happy and to do whatever I want with my life, and mostly with my vagina. I think the reason people don’t talk openly about fisting is that they're hypocrites and conservatives. Fisting is not a monster that needs to be hidden inside a dark bedroom. I would love to have this conversation with my sister or with my closest friends, but they would judge me for sure. They think sexuality is boring and can't be creative. I feel kind of sorry for them.
Joshua
Fashion designer, 28
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I’ve never counted, but I think I’ve been fisted more than 20 times. And each time was with a different guy, because I’ve always blocked them after sex. They all came from hookup apps, like Hornet or Grindr. I don’t think I’d ask a boyfriend or someone I know to fist me because they’d think I’m too kinky. Also fisting is something I only do when I’m high. I love coke. Not just in my nose, but also inside my ass, because it makes the experience of being fisted so much more comfortable. So I usually meet guys in hookup apps, we do drugs, then I clean my asshole, and we fuck.One time I forgot to douche myself properly. I’d drank a lot that night, and I wasn’t okay, but I asked this freak guy from Hornet to come over and fist fuck me. Now I want you to picture a scene from the movie American Beauty, the one with the blond actress lying on a bed of red roses. And now substitute all those flowers for shit. That’s what happened. And I really wish that guy could forgive me for that awful experience and I hope to never see him again.
Leo
Male escort, 27
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Then, when the time's up, I go take a shower. Since I wear gloves or put a condom over my arm, it's all clean but still, I usually want a shower. And if you’re wondering, yes, everything stretches back to normal. It's all just muscle back there. Some people are tighter than others, but everyone bounces backI’m not sure what advice I can offer. Maybe just that if you feel like trying it, just do it. Pick someone who'll be patient and kind. Getting fist fucked for the first time is quite an experience and you should feel safe. Try not to feel restrained by some kind of moral conflict or fear. Just let your pleasure do the talking.