This story is over 5 years old.


'Legalize Cocaine''s most memorable lines from the week of July 24, presented with zero context.
Lia Kantrowitz
illustrated by Lia Kantrowitz
Image by Lia Kantrowitz

As copy editor of, it's my job to read every word that appears on our site and make sure everything is in its right place—that all the commas and semicolons are where they need to be, names and places are spelled correctly, and "fuccboi" is written in the proper style. Over the course of the day, some sentences from our stories catch my eye, usually because they're good or funny or odd or compelling in some way. Here they are now, presented with zero context, for the week of July 24. To find out why they exist or how they were used, simply click the link for the full story.


- Legalize cocaine.

- I live in Berlin.

- Also, to my knowledge, there isn't an MPAA rating that signifies "a young child dies violently in the arms of his screaming mother."

- I've had depression before.

- Somehow, during the divorce, in the chaos of our simultaneous moving outs, I wound up with his dead dad's cremains.

- Poop confetti in toilet every day.

- Nobody thought it was a good idea.

- They were all fucking cousins.

- As with all aspects of my life, I'm hoping that making a joke will cover up my intellectual shortcoming.

- But you can't stop thinking, I am nothing, I am only my whoopsie-doodle.

- I feel nothing for the watergun emoji.

- Need I say more?

Follow Alex Norcia on Twitter.