Image via Powerclown on Facebook
So. Here's the thing. A guy whose job it is to sing in an Iron Maiden tribute band called Powerclown (they perform Iron Maiden songs dressed as, you've guessed it, clowns) got busted in Japan for allegedly attempting to smuggle nearly 10 kilos of stimulants, worth $7 million (£5 million) into the country in his guitar case. I'd just like to repeat that: if it was not wild enough that a clown-themed Iron Maiden tribute band exists, that clown-themed Iron Maiden tribute band has also become embroiled in an international drug scandal. Strap in!!!Canada's Global News reports that Daniel Whitmore, aged 44 – who, in honour of Maiden's first vocalist Paul Di'anno, also goes by Dicksee Diànno – was arrested at Japan's Narita Airport in December on suspicion of smuggling. Since the arrest took place, his bandmates have released a heartfelt statement (via Facebook, the medium for all important communications by men in their 40s).Very seriously, Sketchy Klown, apparently the band's designated spokesperson, stated that "Flags are flying half mast at the Powerclown circus tent. I assure you, any frowns we are wearing are real. Painted on or not. All we can do is hope for the best for him."Mr. Klown continues:
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Sorry I got stuck at the part where a person named Sketchy Klown wrote the phrase "cock pink pants." I think I'm done now. Read the full statement below:Follow Noisey on Twitter.While none of us clowns condone Dicksee's actions, or recommend anyone else attempting something this foolish, we do hope for the best for our grease-painted pal. We hope that by some small… make that large… miracle, he somehow manages to slide into his cock-pink pants and dance himself back home to face this different form of music he has created for himself.