You can put anything in a toasted sandwich. Spaghetti bolognese, curry, bangers and mash, Mi Goreng. Maybe you remember that before rona ruined everything there were millions of cafes claiming to “do things a little differently”, which in most cases meant they sold Frankenstein toasties in a gastronomical race to the bottom.
And now we have the party pie toastie.
This video uploaded to Reddit last night, which has accrued more than 2,300 upvotes at the time of writing, admits in its own headline that a toasted sandwich with a party pie on it is “the answer to a question nobody asked”. And that it is. Part of what makes party pies so brilliant is the fact that they are so neatly self-contained: a filling, casing, and condiment that can all be consumed in one or two mouthfuls. Even as far as unnecessary sandwich fillings go, the party pie toastie is utterly uncalled for.
But the reaction spoke for itself. Two thousand upvotes in less than 24 hours; hundreds of comments from people who were either curious to try the sandwich, vouching for it out of experience, or straight up disgusted by the ungodly chimera. If nothing else, the party pie toastie had gotten tongues wagging. So we decided to give a whirl.
It’s probably pretty clear from the below photos, but aesthetically there is nothing at all appetising about the party pie toastie. The image of a small pale pie sitting in the middle of a square of white bread can best be described as “bleak”. Add a bit of cheese to that and things only get worse.
I’m not going to walk you through a play-by-play of the “method” for making this sandwich. You already know. It’s not exactly the croquembouche of toasties. Pie, bread, cheese, sandwich press. Voila.
What I will say is that it tastes… fine. Party pies are obviously wonderful, and if anything the bread offers a convenient exoskeleton in which to catch any wayward mince and gravy. The cheese, unfortunately, is the problem here. Something about the combination of cheddar and gravy gives the sandwich a disarming sweetness— sickly sweet, like the smell of hot milk. It makes it all taste like you’re eating something you shouldn’t be. And that, of course, is because you are.
The party pie toastie combines two great things to make something that’s not quite as good as either; the answer to a question nobody asked, and one that’s unsatisfying enough to stop you from ever bothering to ask it again. Proof that you can put anything in a toasted sandwich, sure—but that doesn't mean you should.