Jeffrey Toobin Is Sorry for the Zoom Dick, Glad to Be Back at CNN

“I got a lot to rebuild, but I feel very privileged and very lucky that I’m gonna be able to do that.”
June 10, 2021, 7:43pm
Jeffrey Toobin at Ace Hotel on April 4, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.

In case you need any further proof that we live in the dumbest timeline, Jeffrey Toobin, the New Yorker writer-turned-Zoom masturbator, is back at his old gig on CNN.

On Thursday, Toobin appeared on “CNN Newsroom” and spoke openly about the infamous Zoom dick incident, which took place last October and was first reported by VICE News. During a break in an election simulation with several star New Yorker colleagues over Zoom, Toobin accidentally filmed himself jerking off. The New Yorker subsequently fired Toobin, while CNN, which employed Toobin as its chief legal analyst, put him on leave.

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A CNN spokesperson confirmed that Toobin will once again appear regularly on the network.

“To quote Jay Leno, what the hell were you thinking?” Alisyn Camerota asked Toobin Thursday, in an exchange that was visibly excruciating for both journalists.

“Well, obviously, I wasn’t thinking very well or very much,” Toobin replied, adding that he’d thought he’d turned off his camera. “Now, that is not a defense. This was deeply moronic and indefensible, but that is part of the story.”

Toobin went on to describe the last seven months as “miserable.” He said he’s in therapy, volunteering at a food bank, working on a new book, and apologized to people publicly and privately—including his wife.

“I got a lot to rebuild, but I feel very privileged and very lucky that I’m gonna be able to do that,” Toobin said.