Makes: a lot
Prep time: 2 hours
Total time: 3 hours
for the everything bagel cheese:
1 pound|454 grams cream cheese, softened
¼ cup|40 grams capers, chopped
¼ cup|35 grams black sesame seeds
¼ cup|40 grams dried garlic
¼ cup|30 grams dried onion
¼ cup|40 grams poppy seeds
¼ cup|35 grams white sesame seeds
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 bunch scallions, thinly sliced
for the crab dip cheese:
1 pound|454 grams cream cheese softened
8 ounces|225 grams crab meat (claw meat or lump work great!)
½ cup|15 grams finely chopped cilantro
½ cup|145 grams sweet chili sauce
1 teaspoon fish sauce
1 bird’s eye chili, sliced thin
1 (1-inch) piece ginger, peeled and grated
for the pimento cheese:
2 pounds|900 grams shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese
1 ⅓ cups|325 grams jarred pimento or other roasted red peppers, finely diced
1 ½ cups|300 grams mayonnaise
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
for the spinach, artichoke, feta, and olive cheese:
12 ounces|350 grams cream cheese, softened
6 ounces|180 grams feta, crumbled
½ cup|75 grams castelvetrano olives, chopped
½ cup|16 grams finely chopped parsley
½ cup|70 grams cooked spinach, finely chopped
½ cup|50 grams freshly grated Parmesan
½ cup|100 grams finely chopped artichoke hearts
½ cup|50 grams shredded mozzarella cheese
½ cup|15 grams torn basil leaves
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
zest and juice of 1 lemon
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
for the Buffalo bacon ranch cheese:
2 pounds|900 grams shredded cheddar cheese
1 pound|454 grams bacon, diced
8 ounces|225 grams blue cheese, crumbled
2 cups|430 grams mayonnaise
¼ cup|60 ml buffalo style hot sauce, preferably Frank’s
2 (1-ounce|28 gram) packs ranch dressing powder
8 ounces|225 grams toasted and finely chopped hazelnuts
- Prepare the inside of a one quart bowl by fitting a piece of plastic wrap to the sides and bottom with as few creases as possible. Spraying a bit of cooking spray directly on the bowl aids in this process.
- Make the everything bagel cheese: The day before, mix all ingredients together in a bowl until well combined and freeze in the prepared bowl overnight.
- Make the crab dip cheese: Mix all ingredients together in a bowl until well combined. Invert the everything bagel cheese onto a large serving platter. Spread the crab dip cheese around the dome in an even layer and freeze for 1 hour.
- Make the pimento cheese: Mix all ingredients together in a bowl until well combined and spread the pimento cheese evenly over and around the crab dip cheese. Freeze again for an additional hour.
- Make the spinach, artichoke, feta, and olive cheese: Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl. Spread evenly over and around the pimento cheese. Freeze again for an additional hour.
- Make the Buffalo bacon ranch cheese: Heat a large skillet over medium. Cook the bacon, stirring occasionally, until crisp, about 10 minutes. Drain, reserving 2 tablespoons of bacon fat. Save the rest for another use.
- Mix the cooled bacon and the reserved bacon fat with the remaining ingredients. Spread the Buffalo bacon ranch cheese evenly over and around the dome.
- Cover the outside of the dome with the hazelnuts and refrigerate the dome for at least one hour before serving with your favorite crackers, chips, pretzels, and vegetables.
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