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Strap-On Up—Here Are the Best Harnesses, Dildos, and Lubes for Pegging

Curious about pegging your partner—or getting pegged yourself? Here are all the essentials for strap-on success, from beginner to advanced.
September 2, 2021, 7:33pm
The best harnesses, dildos, and lubes for pegging
Photo: Getty 

If you’ve been daydreaming about sliding a harness up your hips, adjusting a sleek dildo, bending your partner over, and taking them to Pound Town, USA, then this is the list for you. Strap-on sex is one of the more prop-involved ways to get busy, but it doesn’t have to be wildly expensive. Whether you're interested in penetrating your partner anally—sometimes referred to as pegging—or vaginally, there's never been a better time to shop for all things strap-on. 

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Pegging can refer to many things, but frequently is shorthand for a feminine or femme person using a strap-on to anally penetrate their male or masc partner. Pegging can totally happen between folks of any and all genders; after all, it’s essentially just anal sex with a strap on. Pegging has been around for a while and many, many men and women enjoy it. If it’s something you’re at all curious about, please—for my sake, as someone who loves to live vicariously through other people’s explorative sex lives—talk about it with your partner

After the conversation about strapping goes down, the next step is to invest in a harness, a dildo, and most importantly, some high-quality lube.

First, get a hot harness (for your hot bod) 

Strap-on harnesses come in many different designs and styles. They usually fit over your hips and waist and have an O-ring, which is where the dildo will sit. It’s important to get a strap-on that fits snugly against your body—the tighter it is, the more control you’ll have over your toy. Too tight, though, and it can be uncomfortable—and no one wants to feel like they’re wearing pants a size too small while they’re trying to fuck. 

In terms of material, leather (or pleather) is going to be the most sturdy. However, there are also plenty of affordable, cloth-based options that will stay in place just the same. Think about what kind of harness you’d feel sexiest in as well! Do you want something that fits your aesthetic? Or are comfort and ease at the top of your wish list? 

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You’re looking for affordability 

If you’re just starting your strap-on adventure, there’s a good chance you don’t want to drop a bunch of money on an item you might not even enjoy. The affordable Saffron Harness features easy-to-adjust nylon straps and multiple O-ring sizes. The nylon material of the harness can have a learning curve during use, but at this price, it’s a perfect beginner harness. 

Sportsheets

Saffron Strap-On Harness

Ease and comfort are at the top of your list

Underwear-style harnesses are exactly what they sound like: harnesses that look and feel like underwear, with an O-ring built in. Not only are they easy to put on, but you can wear them under clothes, they’re easy to clean, and they’re damn sexy to boot. Rodeoh has a bunch of different styles, but the Boxer+ is a great starting point. 

Rodeoh Boxer+ Harness 

For those that want to share

Harnesses need to be snug to maintain the best control during pegging and sex. If you’re looking to share a single harness with a partner, or want the shape of a leather harness with the soft feel of cloth, the Joque Harness is the move! The wide hip strap helps prevent it from digging into backs, and it’s one of the best harnesses on the market, IMO. It’s kind of a big deal! 

SpareParts HardWear

SpareParts HardWear Joque Harness

You want that sexy, leather feeling 

Ahhh… leather. It looks hot on all bodies, which Switch Leather makes clear in its marketing. The unique design of the Ramona means it can be worn above or below hips, letting you adjust where the O-ring sits best against your body. The sturdy leather means you’re getting a harness that’ll last many fuckings. 

Switch Leather Co.

The Ramona Harness in Folsom Black

Next, get a dildo that matches you and your partner’s needs 

Dildos, like harnesses, come in a wide array of shapes, styles, lengths, and girths. I am a firm believer that there is no one-size-fits-all dildo—there isn’t a toy on the market that is going to match everyone's needs and everyone’s body perfectly. Having a variety of dildos on hand is the way to go—it’s like letting your partner choose their own adventure. 

Silicone, which is what you want your dildos to be made from for an easy-to-clean time, comes in various densities. A softer density molds to the body and can be comfortable to those who are new to getting penetrated. A harder-density silicone keeps its shape while inside bodies and is great for hitting those G- and P-spots. 

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For anal play 

Soft, flexible and most importantly smooth, the Fuze Nova dildo is perfect for those just starting their buttfucking journey. The textured base can stimulate a vulva (in a very nice way) and there’s a spot to add a bullet vibrator for extra sensation. 

Nova

Nova Wearer-Stimulating Dildo

The Real Feel 

VixSkin Creations makes some of the best dual-density toys out on the market. Dual-density dildos are made with silicone, and have firm inner cores so the toys keep their shape, as well as a super soft exterior to make them feel pleasant against your skin. The Mustang has a great size and shape for those that want a toy that’s right in the middle.

VIXEN

Vixen Creations VixSkin Mustang Dildo

The Goldilocks kit

Don’t know what size to get? Get multiple! The Temptasia Twist Kit comes with three different dildos, ranging from 4.5” to 7” long. All the dildos on these triplet toys have a suction-cup base in a cute heart shape and the graduated size means you can really work up to whatever feels best for your bod.

Blush Novelties

Temptasia Twist Silicone Dildo Kit Strap-On

For double the pleasure 

The elusive double-ended dildo! Seen in porn around the world, a functional double-ended dildo that actually hits all the right spots is surprisingly hard to find. The bulb goes inside the person penetrating their partner, meant to sit against a G-spot, so they can also feel a little bit of action. The Posable Strapless Dildo features a bendable bulb, ensuring it’s actually going to sit in your body where you want it to sit. Some folks can use these toys without a harness—hence the name “strapless”—but it’s rare for someone’s Kegels to be that strong, so I suggest packing the harness just in case. 

Lovehoney

Lovehoney Posable Strapless Strap-On

Third, upgrade your lube game 

Not all lube is created equal! Some lubes contain harsh ingredients that can irritate and negatively interact with your body chemistry, leaving you and your partner miserable. Other lubes last an annoyingly short amount of time. It’s important to pick the best lube for pegging (or your specific situation), since silicone dildos have a lot of drag to them—meaning they need extra lubrication to get that great sliding motion folks want from strap-on sex. 

Don’t be afraid to apply lube early and often. Lube tends to dissipate or dissolve into the skin before the fuck session ends. Silicone lube isn’t compatible with silicone toys, so be sure to double check before you put any on your toy. Here are a few of my favorite dildo-friendly lubes:

Lube made for the butt 

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This lube is a hybrid, meaning it’s made using both silicone and water. However, it’s safe not just with toys, but with barrier methods as well! What makes this lube so great for ass play is it comes out thick, meaning it won't drip anywhere you don’t want it to drip. It quickly melts down and lasts an absurdly long time. 

GUN OIL

GUN OIL Force Recon Hybrid Silicone Lubricant

For those that like it thick 

Many people want a lube that feels natural, but if I may gently push back: Thick lube is where it’s at. Sutil Rich is the thickest water-based lube I’ve encountered—it can act almost like a cushion for the friction between skin and a dildo. 

Sutil

Sutil Rich Body-Glide

Super slippery

Not only does this lube come in a super handy pump bottle, but Erosense Hybrid lube also has a touch of silicone to keep things sliding longer. The amount is small enough that it doesn’t mess with silicone toys, and you will feel a difference in how your toys glide. 

Erosense

Erosense Sync Hybrid Personal

Long-lasting and body friendly

The Butters make great natural products that are body-safe and incredibly hydrating for your skin. This oil-based lube isn’t compatible with condoms, but your skin will thank you. If you enjoy the scent of shea butter, this lube will smell as great as it feels. 

The Butters

the butters all-natural oil-based lube

Eager to get going with anal sex, but not sure where to start? No worries—we’ve got you covered. Happy pegging! 


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.