The devil works hard, but Crocs works harder. As the most polarizing shoe brand of the new millennium, Crocs is no stranger to courting/wooing/eschewing haters. Over the years, the Colorado-born company has boasted an increasingly bonkers and high-profile set of designs, including collaborations with Balenciaga, Yeezy designer Salehe Bembury, and even the esteemed pastures of Hidden Valley Ranch. You name it, Crocs has probably dipped its perforated toe into it at some point with snark and a smattering of Jibbitz charms.
Jibbitz, for my Croc laity, is the name for the official shoe charm made for and by Crocs. Officially, you can shop for Lisa Frank Jibbitz; unofficially, you can shop for these Shrek ear shoe charms on Amazon that sure look like Jibbitz, but are being sold as “Animal Ears Shoe Charms for Adults Kids Lover Party Favors.” Both are dreamy, and both are valid in the hearts of devout Crocs-lovers. In fact, the majority of Crocsessories you’ll find online are made by random brands and Etsy crafters, all of which are ready to bring our wildest Crocs fantasies to life—except for eating them, that’s some elite Reddit business—and the latest fantasy is simple: Croc spoilers. As in, car-esque spoilers for your Crocs’ heels that take the shape of everything from lightning bolts to spurs.
We decided to kick up our clogs, and bring you some of the best spoilers for your Crocs that the internet has to offer. It’s unclear as to whether or not the shoe spoilers will have the same effect as full-sized vehicle spoilers, which, according to Cars.com, is to “change airflow above, around and underneath vehicles to reduce wind resistance.” Guess there’s only one way to find out.
Fast and furious
You went with the traditional route—nothing wrong with that. Opting for a miniature version of a human-sized car spoiler will not only (maybe) give your Crocs that coveted lift and reduced wind resistance, but help you bond with your sus neighbor who drives a tricked-out Nissan Altima.
Your nuts about your Crocs
There are so many things we have to say about these Croc cojones—but this Amazon reviewer captures the spirit of the spoiler when they write, “With these on, people know you go balls out. Another bling for your Crocs that will [make] mouths drop. Smooth finish won’t slow you down, when throwing out the vibe. The arrow dynamics are insane. I recommend a pair for anyone living The Croc lifestyle. High Fashion.” Amen.
Kick up your spurs
If you don’t wear these spurs to Willie Nelson’s next Fourth of July picnic, you’re not a patriot.
You’re Guy Fieri
We could go into detail on how to transform your life and home into a veritable Flavortown temple (and we did), but suffice to say that these cutout Crocs spoilers will be the flame on top of your best Fieri ‘fit.
Flash some heel
Now these—these you could wear on a Nascar date, to a Marvel movie, or to the Acropolis. The flash symbol is a cross-cultural treasure for every occasion.
Meet me in the ‘Bio-Dome’
Has anyone checked on Paul Shore lately? These biohazard Croc spoilers are definitely something our favorite little buddy could have rocked in a nuclear-power-plant-based sequel to Bio-Dome. But, we dream…
Here’s to spoiling our Crocs.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.