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Vice Blog

NEW YORK - CELL PHONE ANNIHILATION

G-Shock gave us a phone. Our senior editor didn't have a phone, so for a couple months, she used it. Now, she's "over phones." One thing you may not realize if you don't work for a magazine, is that you are constantly being tantalized by an array of expensive "promo" merchandise you could never afford in real life. However, the second you reach out and touch whatever object it is they're parading before your hungry eyes…

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…the second the tip of your finger makes contact, whatever corporation made said object officially owns your soul and will needle you day and night until you finally say something good or bad about their product (at which point they send you an email with "One thing…" in the subject line requesting you make some minute addition/capitalization correction (the phone in question is a G-Shock gZ'One, BTW)). So she may be "over phones" but that does not make G-Shock "over us," not until we've lifted the curse. Since the phone's just sitting around, and the G-Shock guys say it's unbreakable, we might as well break it. Text with ideas. (847) 714-6993. Or you know what? Fucking call. Who gives a shit. Make your suggestions fast though, cause as soon as we get up and get in, we're just going to bash the shit out of that thing with a cinder block.

(PS: To the genius below who suggested we ebay the phone for charity, A) I'm sure Bangladesh or Africa or whoever would really appreciate the pennies that eventually filtered their way through the layers of bureaucracy and internal spending from whatever we managed to scrounge up and B) Are you our mom?)

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