There are a lot of great band t-shirts that you just can't get away with wearing these days. Classics by Motörhead, The Ramones, Black Flag, and Slayer have been ruined forever by appearing on the bodies of part-timers like David Beckham, countless WAGs, and students. Sonic Youth's Goo is another one.Fortunately, Sonic Youth have produced more than just one shirt. In fact, they seem to have made millions of tees. They even put the Washing Machine shirt on the cover of that same album, which was daringly postmodern. Anyway, here, in almost chronological order, are some more classic Youth tees.This one is weird. On the front is a print from 1985's Bad Moon Rising, but on the back are the lyrics to "Expressway to Yr Skull" (aka "The Crucifixion of Sean Penn", or "Madonna, Sean and Me"). And that song, as every 17-year-old chump in a Goo shirt won't tell you, is from their next release, EVOL—another time-bending paradox brought to you by the merch guys behind the Washing Machine conundrum. The "Death Valley 69" sleeve print is great, though.This is the "Expressway…" shirt. What a killer illustration, huh? The black one on the left is an original, and the kind of new-rave surf one on the right is the version available today. I'm sure if Topman stocked this it would become Goo part two.These are all from 1987's Sister/The Whitey Album era. The white "Sonic Life" tee is rad, but they only seem to produce it in black these days. The Ciccone Youth one is a banger too—their Madonna-hating was pretty intense. I guess that's where Crystal Castles got the idea.Yet more Madonna-bashing here. I have no idea who the lady on the other shirt is—she could be Winona Ryder or Patricia Arquette.This Daydream Nation top has a series of Greek letters on the breast, while the back boasts the album title and lists what looks like the longest tour ever. I'd like to know what the symbols mean before I wore it.The insane top one and the "Kool Thing" Baader-Meinhof Top Cat print trump the album cover shirt for me.An odd quartet: the Dirty tour shirt, the "Disappearer" shirt, something sexy and red which doesn't even look like Sonic Youth merch, and a white Goo one that was probably illustrated by a very well-known comics artist.OK, so that's just the Dirty one again, but it seems to have the sleeve logo on the other side. Does anyone except me care about that kind of detail?This "Sugar Kane" long-sleeve is a cool idea, but in reality it looks like crap. The illustrations are second-rate and that font is, intentionally or not, rank. It was a bogus day for the kids who'd saved up for a tee on that tour.This is a classic.This one is by no means terrible, and it's admirable that the Youth are pressing on with the long-sleeve concept, because the world needs more full-lengths that aren't by black metal bands. Unfortunately, it looks back-to-front to me. I'm an old-fashioned guy: I like my beer loud, my TV cold, and my tour info on the back.So there you are. Everyone's favorite ageless New Yorkers have been around for about 30 years and in that time they've produced a lot of amazing t-shirts, most of which are superior to the overrated Goo print. What's more, did you know that the Goo image is a reference to the Moors murders?OH NO, WAIT! I've got you a bonus shirt.Yep, they made a fucking shirt for that episode of The Simpsons.All these tees, plus some other really weird promo things like air freshener and earplugs can be found here. Thanks to the uploader.JONATHAN ROCKWELL
Advertisement
Advertisement
