Heads up southwest California: Don’t be too surprised on your drive home when you have to take a detour around a giant tornado of fire encircled by winged demons. It’s just the "birthing pangs" of the anointed manchild mentioned in Revelations. Don’t believe us? Well, all the numerology to prove it is right here. Never mind that the website looks like something Gene Ray aborted with a coat hanger. We double-checked all the figures and it’s right on. So get up immediately and kick your boss in the windpipe, steal a cop car, deplete your entire stash at once, literally throw somebody under a bus, participate in an orgy on the freeway, and blow your brains all over a church pew before Satan drags you to eternal damnation. Oh, and if you’re in the market for a new place the Canyon Ridge Apartments ad about halfway down the "!!! 2,492 DAYS !!!" page will direct you to some half-decent digs.